Totally unfair characterization of Carolyn Zimmerman's quotes

Suckerrrrrrr.

Cal State Fullerton has hired Mitch Kallick, formerly of Tennessee, as an assistant coach.

Head coach Carolyn Zimmerman said Kallick "has shown through his dedication to coaching that he is willing to work hard and go the extra mile to learn about all facets of a Division I volleyball program"

...especially those facets that Zimmerman no longer wants to screw with and will now delegate to Kallick...since he, you know, doesn't mind.

It's the Bond Shymansky Showcase! Starring Bond Shymansky!

If you're looking for something else to do this weekend while in Atlanta for the Big South qualifier, and the CNN Center doesn't appeal to you because, well, you don't want to risk getting shot, you can take a field trip over to Georgia Tech for the ACC/SEC Challenge. Florida State, Virginia, Duke and host Ga Tech will represent the ACC while Auburn, Alabama, Tennessee, and Ole Miss will battle for the SEC.

Then maybe you can explain to the rest of the class how the ACC only got one team into the NCAA Tournament. KER-POW.

Georgia Tech head coach Bond Shymansky said, "We are looking forward to hosting such a competitive tournament this weekend to use as a gauge of our team's progress."

Which actually means he's looking forward to luring all those recruits onto campus to gauge their interest in becoming part of the Ramblin' Wreck...

...and by "Wreck" I'm in no way hinting at that bit about the ACC only getting one team in the NCAA Tournament again. BLAM.

You gotta admire all these teams, though, letting everyone see them in the spring when they're not at their best. It's kinda like taking a girl out on a date when you have the flu and just had your wisdom teeth removed.

"Yuh looog nice dunigh. (Achoo!) [Sniff]."