Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Man, if only Salvo had waited...

Welcome to Ironic Thursday here at dotyoureye.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Totally Unfair Picture Captions with a graduated Baylor Bear

"Yea! Still relevant! Whoo!"

The End of the Big 12 has been averted. Texas says, "You're welcome."

Hold off on those 2012 Mayan calendar / Big 12 dissolution conspiracy theories! (Too late, John Cusack.)

At the 11th hour (Or is it 12th? More bad number puns to come), Texas has announced that they are staying in the Big 12, which basically saves the conference from being swallowed whole by the Big 10, Pac 10, and SEC. (First order of business: Get a new director for the Big 12.)

Of course, this unfortunately means that they can lord this fact over everyone for the rest of time.

Elliott: We'd like to pass around at 5:30.

Fritz: Ooo, sorry, we pass at 5:30. Can you do 5:45?

Elliott: You know, I didn't want to say anything, but we did save the entire conference...

Fritz: (sigh) Fine, you can pass at 5:30.

Elliott: Thanks, Susie. You're the best!

Fritz: Painintheass...

Elliott: What's that, Sooz?

Fritz: Nothing! See you at 5:30!  

Of course, much like LOST, this raises as many questions as it answers.
  • Does the Pac 10 go after other teams? 
  • Does the Big 12 try to find replacements for Colorado and Nebraska? 
  • Do the Big 10 and Big 12 swap conference names and "players to be named later"?
  • Is Hilbert one of the "candidates"? Or is his name crossed out inside some stupid cave that we'll never get the background history of?

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Hi! FYI, nothing is the same. Enjoy your summer.

Not only is the economy a wreck, the Gulf slowly dying, LOST over, but now, the one thing you thought you could count on, college athletics, is going "totally outer limits." (Samantha Baker reference)

Schools are suddenly jumping around from one conference to another looking for their next hot meal care of the good folks at the BCS; the ones being left behind are getting that Last of the Mohicans feeling; and meanwhile Notre Dame's over in the corner acting like the hot girl at the party who pretends to not know how hot she is. And if the Irish do that long enough, the other conferences are going to ignore them, and then they won't have a date for any big dance in any sport.

When you're thinking about that, think about this:
Nebraska to the Big Ten - Seriously awesome. Cook v. Rose EVERY YEAR? The Nittany Lions will probably turn off all ventilation in their building when they host. Though look for Cook to seriously lobby for the Big 12's Wednesday / Saturday schedule tout de suite. Huskers don't do back-to-back, y'all. And those Yanz transfers are going to go even less smoothly. In the future they should just transfer straight to Dayton, cut out the middle man. School. Whatever.

Colorado to the Pac 10 - Kritza v. Rubio EVERY YEAR? ...yeah, doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

Boise State to the Mountain West - How anyone can give up a yearly trip to Ruston, LA, is beyond me.

By the time you read this, UOP will be in the Big East and Stanford will be in a two-school conference with Duke. If anyone sees my copy of "Jabberwocky," let me know.

Let's see your fancy graphic designer degree fix THIS

Right now the graphic design department at the Big Ten home office is a lot like any major map maker after the cold war. Is Kazakhstan a country? Is it not? Where does the Czech Republic end and the Slovakian Republic begin? What's Missouri gonna do?

So your clever little "Big Ten" with the eleven in the middle? Not cuttin' it anymore with Big Red -- and maybe 2 to 14 other schools -- moving in. So now what? We'd like to offer some suggestions.

Classy, simple. But could be a bit busy.

Clever! But the rest of the conference isn't going to put up with Huskers getting such prominent play.

BLAM. Check that out. Got yer little 11 in there, too. But what if the Big Ten swallows the entire eastern seaboard of big colleges?

Sums things up nicely, I'd say.