UMass: Why not?

In our continuing survey of universities that do not offer women's volleyball, today we look at...UMass!

In an interesting twist, UMass used to have women's volleyball, but then canceled the program after the 2001 season. Why?

Cash. (Probably because the men's basketball program couldn't capitalize on the success of Marcus Camby before he disappeared into the NBA, but that's neither here nor there.) Also cut in The Great Slash of 2001 were men's and women's water polo, men's and women's gymnastics, men's tennis and men's indoor track.

Now, we can understand water polo, because, c'mon, that's not really a sport. But according to a UMass Daily Collegian article, there were reasons given for the forcible removal of the programs:

Explanations for the team's being eliminated ranged from cost with Men's Indoor Track and Field, to few successful seasons with Women's Volleyball, to a lack of general interest in Men's and Women's Water polo.

Ouch. "Lack of general interest." Oh, and the volleyball part was harsh, too. It's hard to find out exactly what "few successful seasons" means exactly because I can't find an overall record for former head coach Bonnie Kenny. But she did have three 20-win seasons, so things couldn't have been that bad.

Besides, the freakin' Volleyball Hall of Fame is in Springfield, just down the road from Amherst. You know Springfield; It's where our sport was created. That's all.

So what does UMass offer? Basketball, cross country, field hockey, skiing, soccer...SKIING? There was a "lack of general interest" for water polo, but skiing is setting the campus on fire? You have GOT to be kidding me. No wonder UMass got rid of volleyball: They're obviously ruled by an Austro-Swiss conglomerate, slowly poisoning the minds of America's youth with the lure of outdoor winter sports. Someone call Bob.

Vanderbilt Volleyball: Why not?

In our continuing survey of universities that do not offer women's volleyball, today we look at...Vanderbilt University!

Vanderbilt's a rather prestigious school located in the Midwest, a veritable hot-bed of volleyball. The school has over 6,000 undergrad students and over 5,000 grad students, most of them probably slugging their way through law school so they can be the subject of a future Grisham novel that will eventually become a movie (Ryan Phillipe will play the earnest law student, Katie Holmes the damsel-in-distress, on loan from the Church of Scientology).

So why not, Vanderbilt? The Commodores currently offer basketball, bowling, cross country, golf, lacrosse, soccer, swimming, tennis, and track & field. Anything catch your eye there? Lacrosse is a smidge conspicuous. Isn't Nashville, Tennessee, a little removed from, um, a 10-mile radius around Johns Hopkins to be sporting a women's lacrosse team? Sure, Berkeley, Stanford, places like that sponsor the sport, but those over-achievers try everything at least once.

The other sport that catches the eye--actually walks up to the eye and jams its thumb in there--is bowling. Did anyone know this was an official NCAA-sponsored sport? It's not even "emerging" like the previously mentioned horsey-riding. Twenty-eight schools offer DI bowling, with the most recognizable school besides Vanderbilt being Nebraska. That's right. If Terry Pettit had had a passion for bowling instead of volleyball, there might very well have been over 17,000 people in Omaha watching last year's bowling championships, where Pavan would nail a 7-10 split to take the title. If not for the grace of God...

Most interesting, to us anyway, is reading Vanderbilt coach John Williamson's bio. Obviously, the guy must know what he's doing, especially in recruiting. But usually in a bio you see a list of a person's past accomplishments in the sport. In Williamson's bio? No bowling experience...of any kind...is mentioned. But that didn't stop him from landing the No. 1 high school, um, bowling recruit in the nation, Josie Earnest. The guy's like the Ernie McCracken of our time.

Oklahoma State Volleyball: Why not?

Women's volleyball has over 300 DI schools that participate, featuring nearly every major university from Miami to Spokane and back again. And because we're very sensitive when it comes to the acceptance of our sport in each and every corner of the U.S., we thought we'd take a look at some of the schools that don't field a volleyball team and try to figure out why not.

Our first school: Oklahoma State. This is a major university in a major volleyball conference. They offer women's basketball, soccer, cross country, track & field, golf, tennis, and equestrian, so the school is obviously able to field the normal complement of spo-- wait. Equestrian? Really? They offer equestrian and not volleyball?

A quick investigation finds that equestrian is not an officially sanctioned NCAA sport. Instead its status is as an "emerging women's sport." Nineteen schools have DI equestrian programs, and all -- with the exception of Oklahoma State -- also offer volleyball.

One has to wonder how much money the university puts into the equestrian team and how their roster numbers apply to Title IX. Did we mention that Oklahoma State's equestrian roster is 60 deep? With 15 on scholarship. And, according to their FAQ, the program provides "all the horses, tack and equipment." They provide the horses?! What kind of overhead is that? Is that one horse per person or do they share horses? Can someone bring their own horse? How many of these equestrians list "National Velvet" as their favorite movie? "International Velvet?"

The answer to all this might be found in the name of the facility where the equestrian team competes: Animal Science Arena.

Sssick. We hope that doesn't mean what we think it means. Oklahoma State doesn't have a program in glue development, do they?