Anatomy of a Hot Story: UCLA edition

Let's say you've seen the headlines on Volleytalk and other various websites about Lauren Cook and Amanda Gil transferring, but couldn't be bothered to wade through the 30+ pages of posts to find out what's going on because, let's face it, you've got stuff to do. dotyoureye now presents, for your reading pleasure, a brief synopsis of UCLA / Gil / Cook-gate:

Cook's transferring!
Gil's transferring!
Is this real?
Is this true?
Why?
The horror! Oh the humanity!
It's because of academics!
It's because of boyfriends!
Who? What?
UCLA doesn't have a School of Wedding Planning!
Transfers: ARGH.
Gil's going to Hawaii!
Gil hates Hawaii!
Cook hates UCLA!
Cook said she loves UCLA!
She started classes at UCLA!
She offered to stay through the spring!
Cindy Luis said it's official!
Scholarship? Free tuition?
Has anyone checked with Broekhuis and Kelsay?
Morning practice totally BLOWS.
Gil and Cook aren't that good anyway!
Gil and Cook are totes awesome!
Hey anyone remember Glyn Milburn?
$187 per semester?
OMG! Christy Johnson's taking over at Nebraska!