Spring matches: Why?

"I am looking forward to getting out and competing in some matches," head coach Jeff Nelson said. "This tournament has a very strong field and is a great way for us to kick off spring competition."

"We can't wait to go to Middle Tennessee this weekend and compete against some other teams," Messersmith said.

"It's great to be able to play these games," said Arkansas head coach Chris Poole. "We practice with individuals in the spring and this is a chance to bring everyone together and see how we're coming along."

What do all these quotes have in coming? Besides being terrifically dull? They're all about spring schedules, the college volleyball equivalent of preseason football.

Spring competitions are lame. The matches don't mean anything, which doesn't stop some messageboard cowboys from dissecting every contact (lookin' at you, Wahine fans). There are people missing, hurt, some schools don't even have enough players so they have to force seniors back into action. OR a school will sucker some poor sap into leaving high school early and enrolling in college in the spring (Because, honestly, the 12 weeks of preseason practice is just not enough for these poor schools).

And once again I find myself wishing that one of these coaches would say what's really on their minds.

"Look, I'm just trying to get an idea of what these yahoos can do," New Mexico coach Jeff Nelson said. "This is like an experiment. I'm Dr. Frankenstein, and I'm trying to see if I've just spent a whole spring creating a monster or not."

"I hate these competitions," Arkansas coach Chris Poole explained. "It's just one big ankle injury waiting to happen. All I want is to play these stupid matches without anyone getting hurt, and get the heck out of here."

"Why are we here?" Stanford coach John Dunning continued, "Honestly I'd rather be trying to get up and down out of a sand trap with a ball stuck in a 6-inch divot."