Utah Utes: Report #5 is the harbinger of doom

A desperate cry for help.

Report #5 for the Utes' trip to Italy and Croatia and...it's not looking good. Dark clouds are gathering. Some of the girls rode bikes to a nearby beach where there was "some mysterious guy in a mitsibishi [sic] that was following them around.....so Connie says?" That can't be good. Guys in Mitsubishi's are shifty.


Although the author of today's journal, Kate Robison, doesn't seem to have much respect for teammate Connie Dangerfield's account of the incident. But when your last name is Dangerfield, that's what happens: no respect (ba-dum bum, 2, 3, 4...).

Things didn't get any better when Whitney Webb--fresh from splitting her melon--warned Hilary Taylor that an obviously man-eating spider was descending upon her, whereupon Taylor immediately whipped out a knife and somehow knocked Airial Salvo out of her chair.

I think I'm going to need a diagram to completely understand that chain of events. Spider (A) descends on Taylor (B), who brandishes a knife she apparently always carries for just such an occasion(C), knocking Salvo out of a chair (D).

Rube Goldberg would be soooo proud.

The rest of the report involves getting locked out of rooms, actual volleyball competition and practicing, along with some English as a second language instruction. But I'm telling you, the signs are undeniable: stalkers, knives, and mysterious "locking doors" preceded by head-splitting...GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN, BETH! RUNNNN!