It's Monday, and the Chiefs are 3-0?!

Forget volleyball. When's the last time Chief fans still had something to cheer about three weekends into the season?


Big East doesn't stand on ceremony - I mean, we're used to the occasional bizarre Notre Dame loss, but... Marquette loses to the Hoyas? The Hall clamps down on L'ville? UConn loses to... everyone? No one values predictability anymore.

Wake and Bake - Demon Deacons are on the Pineapple Express! They swept Charlotte, Clemson, and Georgia Tech recently. It's the first win at Clemson out of the last nine times. Nine times? I don't remember Wake losing at Clemson nine times.

Elsewhere in the ACC (All-new Coaches Conference)... - (BTW, those new coaches ain't so new anymore, are they. Are they. Are they?) AIEEE! UNC is 3-0! And on an 8-match winning streak! Duke is 3-0 and 11-2 overall! WHY AM I YELLING.

Yes, yes, we get it. Penn State isn't invincible - Illini reinforce the lessons learned by Stanford, 17-15 in the fifth. Time for Penn State fans to avoid messageboards for a few weeks, and the rest of us to avoid the Rec Hall coaching offices. Just send a memo, get an intern to do it. 

But Northwestern might be...? - Cripes. They're 2-0 in the Big 10, 10-1 overall. Look, if I can't count on certain bedrock principles of reality, I'm gonna need to increase my lithium or listen to less Pink. I mean Floyd. Less Pink Floyd.

Is this the fight for the middle? - Penn State, Illinois are your early Big Ten( + 1 +N) favorites, but the Buckeyes made their bid for... whatever else there is by holding off a resurgent Badger team.  

Ducks. Nothing but Ducks. - That fowl smell isn't goose liver, it's the web-footed wonders flying in v-formation through their schedule as they play Washington and leave them with the bill. HA, ha... eh. (Do I still have time to work in a "knuckle-puck" reference?)

Cal rains on Rubio's parade - When do you hit .250 in a fifth game and not feel good? When the other team hits .375. (Ba-dum bum.)

When small, furry animals collide. - Michigan is the victor versus Minnesota. Probably should have seen this coming. Afterall, there's no one in the X-Men code-named "Gopher."

It's the 2010 Colorado! New and improved with 17 people you've never seen before! - With a sweep of the K schools, guess that super-industrial house cleaning did the trick. Whadda you use for one of those, a Kenmore? Dirt Devil? Or one of those thingies with the ball and vortex something-something, technology?

George beats James - (ahem) Mssrs. Mason, and Madison, had a very civilized duel twixt the two, from which Mssr. Mason emerged victorious, three sets to nil. Golf claps all around, kudos, well done old boy, etc. 

'Dogs beat Vols? - So, what does that mean? Do we have to, like, pay attention to Georgia now, especially after almost beating Kentucky? Honestly, I just don't have the time, so could someone just keep me updated? Thanks.