Bill Egbert's a Paladin, and he never had to touch a 20-sided die

Bill Egbert, a graduate of Nebraska with a degree in Russian Studies, has been hired as an assistant coach at Furman, which is not to be confused with Fordham, Fairfield, Flagler, Frostburg State, or Farleigh Dickinson.

Wait, Nebraska has a Russian Studies department?

"He is a young up-and-coming coach with a ton of experience," Furman head coach Michelle Young said. "I know that he will have a tremendous impact here at Furman."

Sure, with his knowledge of the Bolsheviks' October Revolution and its implications to the Mensheviks, how could he not?

Furman is home to the Lady Paladins, which Egbert says is "a dynamic program with a head coach that is devoted to helping the girls accomplish any goals they have set for themselves."

I think they said the same thing about Vladimir Antonov-Ovseenko.

FYI, Bill Egbert is Gwen's son. Gwen being that person at Nebraska Juniors who reduces her volunteers to puddles of sweat during Final Four Convention demonstrations.