What's cookin' in Iowa these days?

Yes, we know Iowa State's gym flooded and now they're probably playing in a gym-caf-atorium somewhere, and Northern Iowa is making Swiss cheese out of the Missouri Valley, but what about their neighbors, the Iowa Hawkeyes?

Dingman’s team experiencing "growing pains"

Oh. So it's not a good 6-11. Well, I'm sure the article focuses on the more positive aspects of the program.

Fifteen-straight sets lost.

One Big Ten win in eight games.

One win in the team’s last 11 games.

Does the school newspaper hate the volleyball program? Surely this article will take an upswing.

But on a team that boasts just one senior and sees four freshmen getting regular playing time, the squad doesn’t appear fazed by the lack of success.

There ya' go! See, that's positive: The team doesn't care about their "lack of success". Wait, I don't think that's right...

“Things have improved [since the start of conference play],” junior outside hitter Tiffany Nilges said.

Really? You had 5 wins pre-conference, 1 since. Unless "things" is an umbrella term for other, non-volleyball stuff.

Still, the article floats the idea that perhaps these are just the headline-mentioned growing pains, what with six freshmen coming in next year and a renovated gym.

"There certainly are growing pains going on," [head coach] Sharon Dingman said.

There! There they are! The growing pains! Yes, grow, Iowa Hawkeyes! GROW!

"But at some point we have to stop looking at growing and get there."

Touche. But perhaps, as junior Hawkeye Paige Stevens says, the initial 5-1 start was a bad thing? (Yeah I'm not buying it either, but let's see where this is heading.)

"Especially for a team like us..."

Why, what's wrong with you guys?

"...who doesn't have the No. 1 recruit in the nation..."

Well, yeah, there's that.

"...and aren't the tallest people..."

Point taken.

"...and the strongest people."

OK, we get it already. You stink. CRIPES. Happy now?

"We can't let winning get to our head."

I don't think that's gonna be a problem, seeing as how you just told us about, you know, your lack of No. 1 recruit, height, strength, etc.

Still, the Hawkeyes remain optimistic. They want to make the tournament for the first time since 1990 -- Ruth Nelson, anyone? -- but to do that, they need to win 8 out of their next 10 conference matches.

Such a late-season turnaround after a midseason slump would help the team's case for a tournament bid.

It would help the team's case for canonizing Coach Dingman, is what it would do. Forget the tournament, Iowa would join the 1951 New York Giants baseball team and the 2008 season of "Mad Men" in the Turnaround Hall of Fame.