Week 2 and Northern California is makin' a move

SPOOKY - Get a load of this: Notre Dame beats Lipscomb. Lipscomb beats Portland. Portland (dramatic pause) beats Notre Dame. Weird, right? It's like trying to figure out the timelines from "The Terminator." "If John Connor's dad, was sent back in time, by John Connor, so that he could become his dad..." I think this is called the Circle of Futility.

Stanford - Cal match should be a real dilly - Stanford's wins over PSU and FLA, and Cal's wins over, uh, Sac State and UT - Arlington, make Tuesday's NorCal showdown reaalllly interesting, despite the conflict with the penultimate episode of America's Got Talent.

Westwood goes to Watts, wins - UCLA got its first sweep at USC since 1993 in front of a Galen Center-record 5,385, breaking the old record by probably about 4,400. I assume they were giving out extra credit at the door.

Dear Selection Committee: Get us the hell out of here. Signed, USD - I think San Diego is trying to send a message to that austere group (COUGH HACK GAG!), the NCAA Selection Committee. The Toreros have played LIU, Missouri State, Duke, UNC, and will also take on GW and Indiana, in what's known as the "We're Tired of Playing UCLA or USC in the First Two Rounds" Tour.

Looks like Pepperdine is serious this time - Waves should lose to Miami (Fl.) before every big road trip.

Hey, hey, Paula - Aneaters beat Portland State for their second decent-slash-good win of the year.

How 'bout those Falcons! - Michigan State walked into an ambush in Bowling Green, OH, when nearly 3,000 fans came out to see the Orange and Brown (ugh) go all "Sparta!!!" on the Spartans.

Central Arkansas? - In all honesty, I didn't even know they were a D1 school, but then I don't get out much. I know now, as does Northwestern, after losing in five to the Sugar Bears. ...Sugar Bears? This school was founded by the inventor of Post Super Sugar Crisp?

Siena: Not just for crayons anymore - Saints beat Colorado for the MAAC's first win over a Pac 12 team! Good luck with allll that, Buffs.

B-Y me? BYU. - And it's BYU over Utah for supremacy in the Osmond State! Last time the Cougs won at Utah, "Good Luck Chuck" was entertaining weird little pockets of people across America.

Purdue, Ball State reenact Cain and Abel (but not really so don't freak) - Purdue beats Ball State in four games. Hey, did you know, that the Purdue coach, and the Ball State coach, are brothers?! You didn't? Then you're the ONLY one left in the world without that knowledge.

Rock, Chalk, Jay Block - Gophers were flying high last week after pulling a reverse Alamo in Minneapolis against Texas. But KS out-blocked MN 18 to 9.5 en route to a 5-game winner, winner, Ray's buying dinner.

"We beat Nebraska! We beat Nebraska! We-- wait, what just happened?" - Hilbert's Harbingers of Doom, after upsetting Nebraska last weekend, lose to the Lamb Shockers!

"We beat Colorado State! We beat -- what's this now?" - Then the Lamb Shockers totally lost to Northern Colorado!

"We beat Northern Colorado, so...(sigh)." - CSU beat NCU, thus completing another Circle of Futility.