Meet Liz Brenner and learn you're not as good an athlete as you think you are

Do you think you're a pretty good athlete? All conference in a couple of sports in high school, played some college intramural basketball for the Sig Ep house, did ya'?

Well, Liz Brenner, frosh for the Ducks, laughs at you. (Well she doesn't actually laugh at you. She's more moc-- just keep reading.)

See, according to this article, Brenner is what we in the industry term a "freak athlete." She was twice 6A player of the year in Oregon for volleyball, once for basketball. That puts her in the Natalie Williams / Kristin Folkl range. But Brenner didn't settle for just three stupid state titles in two sports; she won the state title twice in shot-put and was an all-state softball player.

She also won 11 age-group world titles in racquetball, which I didn't even know was an actual thing that people do. I mean, it's racquetball. Who knew anyone besides the goofballs at the Y took that seriously?

As you can imagine, there are a few other coaches at Oregon who'd like Brenner to avail them of her services, including Oregon softball coach Mike White, track and field coach Vin Lananna, and women's basketball coach Paul Westhead.

"Oh yeah, every time I walk by (those coaches), they always stop and talk to me."

C'mon. Paul Westhead doesn't stop and talk to anyone except the Human Bruise.

"Especially the softball coach. He's probably the most friendly."

Hear that, other coaches at Oregon? You're losing out to the softball coach right now. Now get in there and be more friendly, OK? OK.