dot your eye

Totally Unfair Photo Caption with Illinois

2011-12-19T19:44:00.000-08:00

"Is this a good time to talk about renewing my contract?"

Totally Unfair Photo Caption with Mike Sealy

2011-12-19T19:38:00.001-08:00

"I cut my hair for this! Do you understand? I, cut, my, hair!"

Bruins!

2011-12-19T19:28:00.000-08:00

UCLA / FSU
Poor Seminoles. Don't know if someone slipped a mickey in Stepanova's sklandu rausi, but FSU never looked like they wanted to remember the Alamo. You remember the Alamo, right? Small building, no basement?

USC / Illinois
Another five-gamer for the Trojans! It's Illinois! It's USC! It's...possibly the greatest match point ever played in such a big moment. Hagglund put on quite a show, but Ward and Bartsch were just a wee bit too much.

The Finals
For three games, it was nip-and-tuck. But then Nip left town and Tuck went back to Casa Rio. Kidder's shots from the outside were so sharp you could have cut cheese on them. Sliced. Sliced cheese. Van Orden became everyone's favorite underdog story.

Delightfully Confusing Interlude: Kerri Walsh seemed to be saying that Destinee Hooker was her new beach partner, didn't she?

Meanwhile, TV viewers at home were reminded over, and over, and over again that Jeanne Reaves was pregnant with Kelly at the 1991 final four. Look, TV producers or whatever, it's a nice story when you mention it a couple of times. Anymore than that, and people not only don't care anymore, but start actively wishing a large hammer would smash their TV.

Game four was over way too quickly, and the Bruins, after two years with their new head coach, are the toast of Westwood.

The Convention

2011-12-19T19:27:00.000-08:00

Hey, whatever happened to Danny Kinda? Wasn't that about to become a thing?

Ping gave a great exhibition on...being disappointed in demonstrators, I think. And Big Daddy Don Shaw made an appearance! This guy's gotta come around more often.

Super Session - Great Q&A with JMac, Jerritt, Mary, Cook, and Dunning, lead by Kelly Sheffield, who's apparently gunning to be the Mike Wallace of volleyball. I haven't seen that much squirming in chairs since Watergate. But I think for the most part all five coaches enjoyed the discussion.

Things I learned at the session:
- Everyone but Mary and Cook would like to see Russ on a similar panel next year
- Mary would like to see people such as Banachowski and Hebert
- Cook would like to see Russ' assistants (I believe they're all unavailable for comment)

FYI, the Cook - McLaughlin beef appears to be a thing of the past. The two were very cordial after the session, which probably bums out the Cook and McLaughlin haters out there in their respective haters basements.

Karch apparently did a very cool session on reading hitters, but I wouldn't know because some genius decided to put him in one of the smaller rooms, and I was officially boxed out. Look, organizers, it's Karch. KARCH. Tons of people are going to come to anything he does. He could do my taxes and there'd be hordes of people. Give the man a bigger room!

Coach's luncheon - The comedy duo Reynaud & Sagula were back after Cecile's one-year absence and --HOLY CRAP AL SCATES IS RETIRING?! Everything else after that was a blur. I know at some point I ate something. I think it was food. I also almost died of hypothermia.

All-America luncheon - HOLY CRAP AL SCATES IS RETIRING. Sorry, just takes a while to get over something like that. Zamst was back on the scene, and I still don't know what they do. We've had good All-American speakers in the past -- Nnamani, Tortorello, to name a couple -- but Hagglund takes the cake for not only admitting an imitation of Mick exists out there, but for singling out Alexis Olgard as the one who does it the best. Good luck the next three years, Alexis...

Other notable speakers included Rebecca Kamp who seemed more comfortable on stage than anyone. Speaking of comfortable on stage, Barnett was better this year than last, but I don't think he reads his questions out loud before asking them at the banquet. At least he did the interviews so the players didn't have to fold themselves into a chair while wearing a skirt.

Infinity party - I know it happened. I know I was there.

Saturday morning sessions - I know they happened. I know I was there.

Alamodome notes: If you happened to be sitting on the ends, I hope you brought your telescope. San Antonio's a good city to have the convention, but the Alamodome is bad. Good to hear it's going to the Finger Lickin' Good Arena next year.

POST-regional quotes (whoops)

2011-12-12T19:54:00.000-08:00

“I think the biggest reason I am proud of our team is that they treated it like a volleyball match. They didn’t treat it like anything else." - Hambly. I know I hate it when a team treats a volleyball match like a, uh, something else?

"It wasn’t a final-eight match for them. It was just a volleyball match." - Ohhhh. OK, I'm with you now.

"That was a heck of a match between the 7th and 10th best teams in the country." - Dave Shoji. SARCASM! Get 'em, Dave! Let's see if Mick had any zingers.

"Hats off to my team for getting out-played in some areas." - Mick. That is not what I was expecting.

"... and still have enough fight to stay in the match and come out on top in the end." Oh. I do that every time.

"(Before the match) I've teased I have brought knives to a gun fight before, but this may feel like bringing a soup spoon to a gun fight." - Sealy. This analogy brought to you by Swiss Army Knives.

Totally Unfair Photo Caption with Erik Sullivan

2011-12-11T19:27:00.000-08:00

Low flow?

Were these the Regionals "GLEE" is always talking about?

2011-12-11T19:23:00.000-08:00

If so, then I guess that would explain the show's popularity. Maybe.

Fight on! And, on! And on! AND ON. - If you beat Hawaii in 5, IN HAWAII, and then outlast Pepperdine when you should be on "Empty," that's impressive. Bateman deserves some kind of award for being unflappable. She's incapable of flapping. She's like a flightless bird. Kendall Bateman is a penguin.

Despite the Hawaii loss... - Join me in starting the Official Jane Croson Fan Club at www.holycrapthatsahighjumpservetoss.com.

Bruins back in The Show! - First Final Four for the Bruins since the halcyon days of Nellie and Nana (Nellie and Nana! Mornings on KLRO 93.5!). Is there a connection between the Bruins' tourney run and Sealy's haircut? Is this a reverse Samson-kind of thing?

Penn State lost; commence the hysterics - Russ is bored! Russ has lost his touch! Where was Dorton! The assistants are fired! The players are fired! Loud, angry noises!

Purdue, ISU found out how good FSU is at the worst possible time - Is Florida State the Florida of the ACC? Are they the program that will drag more ACC teams into the Top 25? I just want to see if that assistant is going to wear sweats in the final four.

Speaking of which, let's hypothesize pointlessly - What happens if Purdue closes out that 21-13 lead in game 1? What happens if

Iowa State might be the Greatest Show on Earth - If they were an app, it'd be on my iPhone. If they were a website, I'd bookmark 'em. If I had a million dollars, I'd buy them a fur coat (but not a real fur coat, that's cruel).

Illinois is going, too - You know that fun thing where an event occurs for the first time in a long time, and I say it's the first time it's happened since [insert something humorous proving how long it's been since said event has occurred]? Imagine I did that here.

Leftover quotes from last weekend.

2011-12-08T18:32:00.000-08:00

Yeah, these were lying around my desktop, thought I'd toss 'em in the ol' hamper.

...I don't know what that means.

"Anybody on (Russ Rose's) bench that wants to transfer, tell them to call me." - Delaware's Bonnie Kenney brazenly seeking transfers after the Blue Hens lost to Penn State.

"In reality, we are in the entertainment business." - Jim Moore, making a statement that will come as a surprise to most university presidents. Look for the NCAA to seek representation from ICM.

"After beating Penn State, I remember saying, 'I hope this isn't the highlight of our year.'" - Jim Moore, showing us how he tempted the fates to make a mockery of his season.

"Russ Rose knows what he's doing." - Holly McPeak. The McPeak Stamp of Approval! (tm) ROSE HAS ARRIVED!!! Hip-hip! (HOORAY) Hip-hip! (HOORAY)

Regional quotes, fa-la-la-la-laaa, la-la, la, laaa.

2011-12-08T18:31:00.000-08:00

It's the holiday season, a time of year for traditions such as caroling, sleigh bells, and, here at dotyoureye, NCAA Regionals press conference coach quotes! (as previously detailed here, and here, and here) Enjoy the similarities!*

*(bonus this year from the Lexington regional, quotes re: Craig Skinner and how great he is)

Gainesville

"It may sound pretty trite to say we're excited to be here." - Mary Wise.

"Obviously we're excited to be here." - Mark Rosen.

"Besides the fact that we couldn't find a bathroom, everything was great so far as our trip coming in here." - Hambly

"We're excited, obviously, about being here." - Geoff Carlston

Minneapolis

"Certainly we're excited to be here." - Chris Poole

"We're happy to be in Minneapolis." - Dave Shondell

"We're really excited to be here for the regional." - Laura Bush

"We are pretty excited to be here this weekend." Christy Johnson HYPHEN! Lynch

Lexington
"We are excited to still be playing." - Russ. "(Skinner) has done a terrific job with this program."

"We are excited to be here, obviously." - Jerritt "Craig (Skinner) has done a phenomenal job here."

"It's great to be back." - Sealy. "I've been kind of isolated on an island in Hawaii for the last four years."

"Seems like it's been about a month since we got back from Texas A&M." - Craig Skinner

Whatever happened to: Loyola Chicago edition

2011-12-08T17:09:00.000-08:00

Remember when we reported that the Loyola Phoenix reported that seven players were dismissed from the Loyola Chicago team? And then there was nothing else?

Well, November 30 there was a follow-up article, reporting that Athletic Director Grace Calhoun backed Muscat's chop-chop.

There's some kooky stuff going on here, so let's recap.

Seven players were bounced. Two were seniors dismissed on the second-to-last weekend of the season. Shortly after the season was over, five more were told to hit the bricks.

Athletic Director Grace Calhoun announced she approved Muscat's decision.

I feel that standards and expectations were clearly communicated and, ultimately, when Coach Muscat...stated that he needed to make changes, I fully supported his ability to do that."

Hm. And then there's this statement from the athletic department:

From the beginning of head coach Chris Muscat's tenure, clear expectations were outlined for all student-athletes academically, athletically, personally and socially. We believe we gave these student-athletes every chance to be a positive part of the program and felt that changes needed to be made when these expectations were not consistently met.

Athletic scholarships are merit-based and student-athletes must adhere to a set of well-communicated standards.

Again, there's that "expectations" theme, and the "clear" characterization, and the assertion that everything has been "well-communicated." But notice how the statement goes out of its way to say a lot without saying much of anything? That's known as "corporate speak." You learn how to write that way when you turn 35. Or go to law school.

And then there was this from Calhoun:

While there were at times different reasons for each student-athlete [to be released], I felt comfortable that those expectations were clearly outlined and that [Muscat] had good rational for making the changes he did.

Wow, anyone getting the feeling that the athletic department is doing their best to make sure none of this is actionable? "Hey, we told them! Clearly! Did you not hear me say that? We all heard me say that, right?"

My head hurts.

Totally Unfair Photo Caption with Shane Pinder

2011-12-06T18:14:00.000-08:00

"Now, we could play this match in the conventional way, with 'serves' and 'rallies.' But I had a crazy thought on my way over to the gym: why don't we blaze a new trail? Let's determine this match by THUMB WRESTLING! Right? C'mon! Who's in? Russ?"

Totally Unfair Photo Caption with Mark Rosen

2011-12-06T17:49:00.000-08:00

"Scientists aren't sure why the man, frozen in the year 2011, is so angry, but they believe he was yelling at his setter."

Hey let's meet Purdue's Tiffany Fisher

2011-12-06T17:31:00.000-08:00

Purdue is on fire! So why don't we read up on one of their hotshots, senior Tiffany Fisher, via an interview with her at the Lafayette Journal and Courier.

Fisher learned to work hard pretty early in life, people.

"I've always had to make sacrifices."

Hit me with an example.

"I couldn't have sleepovers because I had to go clean the pens in the hog barn."

No one wants to braid your hair and talk about zits when you smell like a pigpen. Right, Pig-Pen?

Oh, poor guy. Chin up.

How did this hard-working farmhand wind up at Purdue? Fisher's high school AD, Darlene Mathew, thought, "maybe she would get a Division I track scholarship because she was a very good high jumper."

So the AD was no help.

"But when Purdue coach Dave Shondell spotted a tremendous athlete in a 6-foot-2 frame, he..."

Broke down? Threw up? Called his assistants and fired them for not finding her sooner?

"...thought he could find a spot for her."

He was right, as the stats have proven. Fisher leads the Big Ten in hitting percentage, blah blah blah.

"'(Fisher's) toughness and competitiveness drives all of us,' redshirt senior Blair Bashen said."

Ah, so she's a real show-off, and you fight her for the spotlight?

"You want to get every dig because you see how hard she is working."

Oh. So it's the complete opposite of what I said. Gotcha.

"You know she is going to perform well every game. That's a great leadership value."

Well, I guess. If you're into that kind of thing. It's interesting, though, to see the similar work ethic that is developed in disparate communities.

"Bashen is from Houston, a metropolis compared to Fisher's hometown."

Or, you know, anyone's hometown, since Houston is a metropolis. But Bashen soon found out that they had a lot of similarities despite the whole small town / big town thing.

"'Her personality is nothing like a small-town farm girl,' Bashen said."

So, no stirring the Kool-Aid with her bare hand then?

"Prior to the start of a set when Bashen prepares to sub in for Fisher to play defense, Fisher will oftentimes offer a playful slap to the face."

Which confirms what I've always said: Nothing is more different from small-town life than a slap in the face. AmIright?

Admit it: your bracket sucks

2011-12-04T20:53:00.000-08:00

Don't be "that guy" and claim that you predicted even HALF of what happened this past weekend. Throw away your bracket just like the rest of us. Got to the point I was afraid to dial up RichKern.com because I didn't know what I was going to see.

Wanted: PR flack for top volleyball coach; love of red a plus. - I think Cook is a good guy. Public speaking's just not his thing. At all. Not at all. No sooner had he inadvertently disparaged PSU's first round opponents and been eviscerated by VolleyTalk (as per usual), than the Huskers lost. In the first round. To Kansas State. AT HOME. I no longer trust the reality around me.

The Tar Heels did WHAT? - UNC, the Bill Pullman of the volleyball world, did the unthinkable and rocked the boat, beating Cal one year after the Golden Bears' finals appearance. It was UNC's battle speech in "Independence Day."

Ducks can't duck Rams - Oregon did a lot of great things this season, one of them not being drawing Colorado State in the first round.

Gophers! The little brown furry rodents! - Good on Coach Bush, in the rock / hard place position as Hugh's coach, for knocking off the GM2 Huskies in 5. But with Cook and McLaughlin out, who's going to scrap? Nina and Susie? Carlston and Hambly?

Texas A&M swept away by UK - Honestly, the least surprising outcome ever. Aggies being seeded instead of Kentucky was like "Dancing with Wolves" winning Best Picture instead of "Goodfellas."

Ah, classic rope-a-dope from the Wolverines! - This has not been an outstanding year for Michigan. After a great pre-season, they went a disappointing 8-12 in the Big 10-11-12. Worst of all, there's been no follow-up to last year's YouTube smash "I Like It." But, they get in The Dance and bounce Stanford for the second straight year. Remember when Stanford used to win a lot more?

'Noles statistically lose -- yet win -- 5-gamer against Cincy - Getting 26 more kills and 28 more digs than your opponent is apparently not enough to win a match anymore, as Cincy rudely found out against the 'Noles. Cincy had 84 kills to FSU's 58, 92 digs to FSU's 64.

Hey look! A big, steaming pile of NOTHING from the committee. Merry Christmas.

2011-11-29T20:24:00.000-08:00

Just like they did last year, the selection committee has seen fit to publish an embarrassing and insulting Q&A with one of their members.

I'm not going to even bother reviewing it like I did last year, because that would lend some credibility to this fraud of an exercise. It's nothing. It's fluff. It's an exercise in futility.

None of the truly interesting questions were asked, none of the questions asked were really answered.

The bigger question -- which I asked last year -- is why does the committee embarrass itself and insult the collegiate volleyball community by going through this charade every year if they're not going to bother doing a halfway decent job?

Alaina Bergsma, no ugly duck, et cetera, et cetera

2011-11-29T17:38:00.000-08:00

Did you hear? Oregon's Alaina Bergsma, at 6'3" surely one of the world's tallest ducks, was crowned Miss Oregon USA!

The Miss Oregon USA website is oddly short on details, so we can't tell what Bergsma did for the talent portion of the competition. I'm guessing it wasn't commit blocking on a 3-ball and then transitioning for a slide down the line.

Maybe ballroom dancing? Or baton twirling? Is that still a thing? Either way, Bergsma now is eligible for the Miss USA pageant, where she'll be befriended by an awkward but winning Gracie Lou Freebush who'll take everyone out for pizza while asking a lot of oddly personal questions.

Things you may have missed: TMZ and Morgan Beck

2011-11-29T16:45:00.000-08:00

You remember Morgan Beck, right? Cal Berkeley, tall, blonde, and empirically speaking, goooood lookin'. Well, a while back she was spotted by, of all things, TMZ cameras outside some club.

TMZ asked her some questions, there was a little back and forth, and now we have...this.

video platform video management video solutions video player

I don't know what if "smuggy buggy" is TMZ's version of "That's so fetch" or "streets ahead," but they sure try to drill it in, don't they?

Can we expect coverage of Jessica Gysin leaving a Starbuck's soon? Whitney Pavlik at the Roosevelt Hotel?

Yep, the "bracket" is a joke

2011-11-27T20:47:00.000-08:00

Every year the committee gets together, and like the cat that thinks it's doing you a favor, puts a dead bird on college volleyball's front step: the bracket.

The worst part? There will be, invariably, an "interview" with a member of the committee where they're asked specific, pointed questions, and to which they'll answer in vague, general nonsense, which is even more insulting than the bracket itself.

If you don't recall, here's the "Q&A" we highlighted last year.

Twitter! (Part the second)

2011-11-27T19:32:00.000-08:00

Questions are fun.

Oh yeah, there were matches, too

2011-11-27T19:28:00.000-08:00

Through a haze of turkey, I remember some results:

Northwestern beat Nebraska - Shut. The. Front. Door.

Oregon State beat Oregon - Of course they did.

Arizona State beat Arizona - Was there something in the turkey this year? Is that what it is?

Miami beat Florida State - Like a group salmonella that caused upsets.

Texas A&M beat Iowa State - Or a haze-inducing creamed spinach.

TCU beat UCSB - Or everyone ate at the same Sizzler.

Twitter!

2011-11-25T17:46:00.000-08:00

Caaannnn you feeeeeel the looooooove, tonight.

Jimmy Mac not an RPI guy

2011-11-25T17:39:00.000-08:00

"Psst. Hey, I don't like the RPI. Pass it on."

Washington's student newspaper took time out from covering the Apple Cup-thing to talk with JMac about the upcoming NCAA tourney. After covering the basics, the article waded into the murky waters of the RPI.

"The RPI takes into account a team's winning percentage (25 percent of the formula), opponent's winning percentage (50 percent of formula), and opponent's opponent's winning percentage."

Is that accurate? So the RPI uses the same kind of logic that they tell you in college health classes to use before you sleep with someone. "Whoever you kiss, you're essentially kissing everyone they've kissed." Interesting. I had no idea the RPI was so...salacious.

"And this year, at least, the RPI does not like the Pac-12."

Yeahbut, since the RPI is an equation, it isn't capable of, you know, human emotion. Just like a Vulcan. Or Keanu Reeves. But the best stuff from the article is when JM blesses us all with his thoughts about the RPI.

"I think we're one of the top ten teams in the country. The RPI is a joke."

Well, let's remember that the RPI doesn't factor in what coaches think, first of all. Math is very funny that way.

"I looked at some of the teams in the top 10, and there's no way you can logically look at it and say, 'This schedule is stronger than this schedule.'"

I assume JMac has a better idea in mind? Something perhaps from the GM2 oeuvre?

"The coaches know."

And we all know coaches are infallible...

"They've been ranking five Pac-12 schools in the top ten."

To be fair, he has a point. Washington's RPI is 30 (snicker), and they're more realistically somewhere in the 9-15 range. So why the discrepancy?

"It's hocus pocus, and we need some people that understand the game."

Hocus pocus?

"It's very ambiguous. I'd like them to tell us, 'OK, here's how you should schedule.'"

Wait wait wait. Is McLaughlin, in his 10th year at Washington, the only guy to win a men's and women's NCAA title, saying he doesn't know how to schedule to help his RPI? REALLY?

"'Do we go to the east coast to play those teams?' he continued, referring to the RPI's more highly rated teams."

I'm gonna assume he's talking only about Miami, Florida, and Florida State, because there aren't any other "east coast" teams ahead of him in the RPI.

I'll tell you what you shouldn't do, Jimbo, is play only two teams in the top 100 in pre-conference tournaments. Oh wait, that's what you did.

"What if we don't have the money? We're cutting back on everything."

Yyyyeah, I'm sure the UW athletic department is cutting back on your ability to go to pre-conference tournaments featuring teams better than Prairie View A&M and Seattle...

"And what if you lose three seniors? How do you regulate that?"

There's a lot to assume here, because the writer doesn't bother to give context to that quote. I assume he means if you graduate seniors and don't want the new, younger team getting drilled by tough competition.

"It's got to be fair for the teams, the teams that develop and produce over the course of the year. And volleyball people know who they are. They should be rewarded."

The RPI is far from perfect, but using "volleyball people" can be just as ineffective. Some people can get entrenched in their views and base their ratings / rankings on names and reputations rather than actual results.

JMac has some good points, but it seems rather lame to claim he doesn't know how to schedule to benefit his RPI. The guy's been around the block. But he has a great volleyball mind, so I'd like to hear any ideas he has to improve the system.

"I dunno. I don't want to get all into it."

Really? It seemed like that's exactly what you wanted to do.

Justin Ingram out at Ark State; player approves

2011-11-23T20:12:00.000-08:00

Aw, that's adorable...

Everybody cut loose. Footloose.

2011-11-21T06:01:00.000-08:00

Many, many teams are now going to the Big Dance, so go fork over some money for a crappy corsage, put on the uncomfortable shoes, and pay too much for chicken piccata.

The Chippewas are going dancing! - For the first. Time. Ever, Central Michigan wins the MAC title after coming in as the #6 seed. Mount Pleasant? Mount Really Pleasant.

UW-Milwaukee? Also dancing! - This should take the sting off that Brewers playoff loss. Maybe. Probably not. Who knows. Let's go drink a Schlitz and talk about it, talk about our feelings.

Dayton, put on your dancing shoes - Flyers are caught on that wheel of romance (we all get that reference, right?), beat Xavier for title.

American style dancing! - Do the Hustle, because Barry and the Americans beat Army for the Patriot title.

Buffalo, Bison. Bison, Buffalo - Nevermind the kangaroos and chipmunks, Lipscomb puts the kibosh on Belmont to return to the dance! That's the way the thunder rumbles.

Now they're the Dancin' Blue Hens! - VCU really caused a ruckus in the CAA tournament, but Delaware rights the ship in 5 in the finals.

There's a lot of dancing, is what we're saying - Niagara falls? Nope, they win MAAC. The branch of Maryland University? The one on that Eastern Shore over there? They won the MEAC. Plus Morehead State (immature snicker), North Dakota wins that weird conference, Texas State, Jackson State, North Dakota State, and Western Kentucky!

Elsewhere...
Ugh. Do I have to pay attention to Arizona now? - Wildcats might be in the tournament after drilling the Bruins for the second time this year.

Chris Riley, Hokies, making life miserable for naysayers - You can hear them now, the Anti-Riley contingency, in various corners of the internet. After the Hokies beat the Tar Heels and red-hot Wolfpack, they now have to go with the "blind squirrel / nuts" argument.

So, Colorado won. - They beat Washington State for their first PAC 12 win. I don't know how to feel about this.

East Lansing is NUTS - Spartans are a long way from that loss to Bowling Green after beating Illini in 4. Remember when the Illini were #1?

Notre Dame beats Syracuse -- this time - Phew, right?

Notre Dame then upsets Louisville - Well of course they did...

Cincy beats Notre Dame for Big East title - OK, but I'm still chewing on that previous result.

Bay Area hates Ducks! - Which is funny because it seems like a pretty inclusive area. Regardless, Oregon goes on the road to beat the Bay schools.

Cal also has a Beaver problem - I didn't even know Oregon State was still in the conference. Now I do, and so does Cal.

Well, it is "Happy Valley" after all - Purdue's 10-match winning streak halted by Deja and Slay Bells.

"We won the conference last week, AND then we drilled you 3-0." - Pepperdine adds insult to USD's injury. Now it's on to a first-round NCAA match against USC... Congrats!

BREAKIN': Loyola Chicago pops and locks out five players

2011-11-16T10:15:00.000-08:00

Loyola Chicago has chopped five players off the team after going 4-22.

Hey, is Muscat friends with Kritza?

Totally Unfair Photo Captions with Clemson

2011-11-16T10:02:00.000-08:00

Frenchy takes a moment away from the Pink Ladies to play some defense.

Hey, here's some stuff I found.

2011-11-14T18:36:00.000-08:00

"We can be really bad, the good teams can’t get as bad as we can get. Our upside is that we can compete with the top teams. But our downside, it’s embarrassing." - Russ.

"Everybody was really zoned in. Our staff was zoned in, our crowd was zoned in." - Dave Shondell explaining the Boilermakers' "Vini Vidi Vici" game plan against Nebraska.

"We didn't compete, we didn't play, we didn't adjust." - Cook on the Huskers, uh, anti- "Vini Vidi Vici"?

"We won the first set, and then we were up 23-14 in the second set, and then we took a little nap." - Mike Sealy on Oregon loss. 23-14? "A little nap" is one way to phrase it. "Full-blown narcolepsy" is another.

"We’re still in the national championship picture." - Jerritt. Well, in all fairness, it's a HUGE picture. More like a mural. I'M in the national championship picture.

"That’s the best winless team you’ve ever seen." - Dave Rubio on Colorado. To which Colorado responded, "Thank you...?"

“I couldn’t be more proud of this team." - Mary Wise after the Gators narrowly defeated Arkansas in 5. Really? You almost lose to Arkansas and you're bursting with pride? “That was our single biggest win of the entire year." You are aware that you beat Texas earlier this year, right Mares?

"The highlight of the night came from freshman setter Shannan McCready who played soccer in high school. A ball was sailing to the ground when McCready saved a ball by kicking it into the air." - from Statepress.com's article on ASU's win over Colorado. Is McGown aware of your blasphemous ways, McCready?

Someone get Jeff Goldblum's character from "Jurassic Park"

2011-11-13T20:27:00.000-08:00

We could use a good explanation of Chaos Theory right now 'cause this season is off the hizzy. It would not surprise me at all to see Xavier win the national championship. ...OK, that would surprise me, but you hear what I'm sayin', right?

U! C! LLLLL-- wait, what happened - The web-footed wonders of the northwest ensure a new #1 in the land after sending Sealy's swingers away with a loss.

Maybe Rooty should play? - In Daughter Cook's 2nd match back, Boilers sweep Huskers without calling one timeout all match. Boilers are a team you don't want to see in your part of the bracket.

Call the U.N.! FSU loses! - Keep hope alive, Miami! Seminoles lose first ACC match of the year to Duke, who may have just punched their ticket to the dance.

Pepperdine just keeping things interesting - Waves lose their first conference match, to St. Mary's, because they wanted to give USD some incentive?

Illinois sweeps Penn State - Because that's just the kind of month Penn State's having.

Huskies would like to remind everyone that they're still around - Beating Stanford does get your attention, I suppose.

7-10 is a good thing? - When you're NC State, and it's a whole galaxy away from the previous regime? It's a really, really good thing. Bunn for COY!

Meanwhile in the Big 12 - Texas is still in first, Iowa State's still in secondzzz... zzzzzzz...

'Cuse knocks off Irish - I just bet you that, before he left, Jing Pu taught the Orange how to do a mean foxtrot. He knew that's how you beat Notre Dame; with fancy footwork, a modicum of rhythm, and lots of enthusiasm.

Wolverines name look-a-likes

2011-11-09T18:42:00.000-08:00

MGoBlue.com is one of the more entertaining websites out there. Lots of features, lots of interviews. Some good, some... well it's a hit-or-miss genre, so there's no one to blame here.

Anyway, recently, in the Question of the Week feature, they asked each of the Wolverines, "Who would play you in the movie?" Let's take a look at what they said and unfairly mock the answers.

Claire McElheny - Kristen Wiig. Why? "I would enjoy seeing how she would handle some of the things have happened in my life, such as breaking my hip playing kickball, peeing in my snow suit on an eighth grade ski trip and having a unibrow for the majority of my childhood."

Wow. I forgot what the question was.

Brittany Lee - "I would choose Selena Gomez..." -- oh no -- "...because..." -- don't say it -- "...she dates Justin Bieber." Oh that is so sad. "And yes, I do have Bieber Fever." You've got something.

Jennifer Cross - Elisha Cuthbert. Why? "She is tall, blonde, blue-eyed and Canadian!" OK, Jennifer Cross is 6'4". Elisha Cuthbert is 5'2". On a good day. With the wind blowing in the right direction. But three out of four, that's close enough.

Molly Toon - "I would have to say Beyoncé, for obvious reasons." So she could turn down "Austin Powers in Goldmember," right?

Dannemiller

Lexi Dannemiller - "Shakira because we both have crazy hair." Apparently I don't understand hair.

Michelle McMahon - "I would play Cameron Diaz in 'The Holiday' because she gets away from her life for a bit and ends up in the cutest little house in Ireland for the holidays." Uh...hm. Did I read the question wrong?

Lauren Cook should probably invest in a bus pass

2011-11-09T17:11:00.000-08:00

Just a suggestion.

Lauren Cook has been accepted into a diversion program -- which frankly sounds like some kind of camp for spies, you know, to master the art of medium-sized explosions so that they can gain access to the secret, heavily guarded lair.

This means she avoids jail time, fines, and being forced to join Charlie's Angels or the Mod Squad or that La Femme Nikita thing, whatever that was.

Feel free to keep obsessing about the whole thing, though.

The Weekend that Was kinda normal, actually.

2011-11-06T20:16:00.000-08:00

Wait, the #1 team didn't lose? - I don't know what to make of a week where #1 holds onto their ranking. It's...unsettling. But, Bruins -- as well as Trojans -- send WA schools packing.

Not a good weekend for Penn State at all - Even if you're not the PSU A.D., it was a tough weekend. Russ' bunch barely beat Minnesota, and then fell to the Badgers in 5. Which means...

Florida A&M is totally better than Penn State! - Florida A&M beat UNF. UNF beat College of Charleston. College of Charleston beat Furman. Furman beat Wisconsin. Wisconsin beat Penn State. Voila.

Rooty comes through! - ROO-TY! ROO-TY! Brigette Root comes through for the Huskers in their time of need. Hopefully this doesn't lead to Sean Astin playing her in a movie with an XL Jon Favreau.

Maybe she should be the first server? - Game 5 of Wake / Virginia was 7-6 Wake before Kylie Hargreaves went back to serve. Eight serves later the match was over. Now, either Hargreaves has a serve we've never seen before that's incredibly difficult to pass and disrupts even the stoutest serve receive...or Virginia just fell apart. Or something in between. Could've been anything. I don't have a lot of information to work with.

.176 for the win! - How did Florida State International House of Volleyball hit .176 versus UNC's .234 and still win in 4 games? Well, they hit a flabbergasting -.207 in the one game they lost (4 kills, 10 errors, and 29 attempts), .212 or better in the the other three. If you're gonna lose one game, go big.

American beats Army - Just sounds weird. Like "the United States beats Captain America."

Musketeers win - No, not that goofy movie with the chick from The Fifth Element. We're talking Xavier, in five, over Dayton despite monster nights from Krabacher (24 kills) and Marten (20 kills).

Notre Dame beats Seton Hall, Rutgers - Well of course. Because neither of those teams can dance.

It's official: John Cook can do nothing right

2011-11-03T16:53:00.000-07:00

Really? Sorority members are "peeved"? And about what, you might ask? Apparently, this is in reaction to Cook's statement about wishing his daughter -- in the wake of her car accident -- was a sorority girl and not a Husker volleyball player. According to miffed sorority girl Allison Shirk:

"Sorority girls — and fraternity boys — don't get away with anything. We have to project a good image and we have the same consequences as everyone else."

What? How did this become about you?

"A lot of us were just a little disturbed."

Really? Honestly? You were disturbed.

Look, I know it's fun to be outraged at perceived slights, but this is not a chance for everyone to jump on the Victim Train. Next thing you know, the Genie Association of America is going to lodge a complaint. ("We don't approve of John Cook's use of a 'wish' with such nepotism.")

Do sorority girls honestly think that Cook was saying, "You know, if my kid was a sorority girl, she could have gotten away with this. Have you ever seen a sorority girl held accountable for anything? O, why didn't I make her pledge Delta Delta Delta when I had the chance! Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

So now, Cook, on top of everything else in this crummy, crappy week, has to go meet with representatives of the Panhellenic Association.

Hang tough, Cook. Surely next week will be better, right? But to be on the safe side, don't make any references to the following: sororities, sorority girls, the Greek system in general, the Greek letters alpha, beta, chi, upsilon, and pi. Zeta, eta, phi, mu, nu, sigma, epsilon, and omega. Greece, the movie "Grease,"
pledging, pledges, PBS pledge drives, and tote bags. Frats, fraternal orders, fraternization, and "brosephs."

Huh?

2011-11-01T20:15:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to think -- with this headline, and the the earlier one -- that the headline writer at GoDucks.com has never actually seen a duck.

Day 2 of Occupy VolleyTalk

2011-11-01T19:48:00.000-07:00

It's the 2nd day of heavy "discussion" on VolleyTalk re: Lauren Cook. Have we learned anything new? Accomplished anything? Gotten anywhere?

No.

Have you not had 20 minutes of your life to waste reading the Lauren Cook thread? 20 minutes you'll never see again? Don't worry, you haven't missed much:

1. Lauren Cook got arrested.

2. She's evil incarnate. She's Lindsay Lohan. She's a ticking time bomb. People aren't surprised this happened.

3. OR Lauren Cook is probably a nice kid who made -- allegedly -- a bad decision after hitting a parked motorcycle. She should be punished appropriately according to whether or not she actually fled the scene and whether or not she was driving with a suspended license.

4. Her parents are bad parents. They've coddled her. They've spoiled her. They'll probably let her off easy again this time.

5. OR they're parents, especially dad / coach, who are trying to handle a tough situation.

6. Something about gravel roads, various legal discussions.

There. Now you don't have to read the thread. You're welcome.

Hey did something happen with Lauren Cook?

2011-10-31T18:00:00.001-07:00

I couldn't tell from the 20+ pages of "discussion" at VolleyTalk. I hope no rash judgements were made, not that that ever happens online.

Was no other press conference backdrop available?

2011-10-31T17:59:00.000-07:00

You know, because...cars, and stuff.

Halloween comes early?

2011-10-30T18:52:00.000-07:00

Freak snow storms, upsets, bad costume choices...just another October in college volleyball.

Are Bruins the new No. 1? - With a sweep of NorCal, and a Husker loss, is UCLA returning to the top spot for the first time since, what, August of 2000? (thanks, RichKern.com)

Cal home court powerless against LA schools - Gotta say, didn't see that coming.

Make up yer mind, Gophers - Hey we're Minnesota! We lost to Northwestern! Then we swept Illinois at Illinois! Isn't that fun? No?

Hey Notre Dame - You lost to this team Saturday night:

Hope they don't have to play the Rockettes or anything later in the season.

With five games you get egg roll - Utes enjoy a little Duck with Plum sauce. (If only there was someone on Oregon's team with the last name Lo Mein.)

Matches whose relevance I can't gauge - UC Davis beats UCSB! But probably because the Gauchos just wanted to get back to Isla Vista sooner.

Gators get got - Must suck to have Tennessee and Kentucky in your half of the SEC. Case in point? This weekend.

Seriously, is home court good for anything? - Fordham -- 278 RPI -- was playing at Saint Louis -- 57 -- without two starters, then lost another during the match. They hit .066 for the match. They were aced 8 times. Fordham had never beaten SLU in 10 previous meetings. Fordham won in five.

Slippery suckers, aren't they? - UNI went down 0-2 to Mo. State, but prevailed in 5 for their 49th straight conference win.

OKLAHOMA! Where the wind goes sweeping down the plain - ...until it runs smack-dab into Missouri, who sweeps them. I need new metaphors for Oklahoma matches. Totally leaning on that OKLAHOMA! thing too often.

Directional results - Eastern Kentucky beats Eastern Illinois, Western Michigan beats Eastern Michigan, Northern Illinois beats Central Michigan, Southern Miss beat East Carolina. Use compass as needed.

Totally Unfair Photo Caption with Appalachian State

2011-10-27T18:50:00.000-07:00

Well in fairness to the cougars, if you were a cougar and saw mountaineers streaking, wouldn't you put a stop to it? Darn hippies...

Meet Liz Brenner and learn you're not as good an athlete as you think you are

2011-10-27T18:07:00.000-07:00

Do you think you're a pretty good athlete? All conference in a couple of sports in high school, played some college intramural basketball for the Sig Ep house, did ya'?

Well, Liz Brenner, frosh for the Ducks, laughs at you. (Well she doesn't actually laugh at you. She's more moc-- just keep reading.)

See, according to this article, Brenner is what we in the industry term a "freak athlete." She was twice 6A player of the year in Oregon for volleyball, once for basketball. That puts her in the Natalie Williams / Kristin Folkl range. But Brenner didn't settle for just three stupid state titles in two sports; she won the state title twice in shot-put and was an all-state softball player.

She also won 11 age-group world titles in racquetball, which I didn't even know was an actual thing that people do. I mean, it's racquetball. Who knew anyone besides the goofballs at the Y took that seriously?

As you can imagine, there are a few other coaches at Oregon who'd like Brenner to avail them of her services, including Oregon softball coach Mike White, track and field coach Vin Lananna, and women's basketball coach Paul Westhead.

"Oh yeah, every time I walk by (those coaches), they always stop and talk to me."

C'mon. Paul Westhead doesn't stop and talk to anyone except the Human Bruise.

"Especially the softball coach. He's probably the most friendly."

Hear that, other coaches at Oregon? You're losing out to the softball coach right now. Now get in there and be more friendly, OK? OK.

Let's Learn Something About: Florida State's Kori Mosher

2011-10-26T16:37:00.000-07:00

Kori Mosher, frosh libero from Florida State answered the following question at Seminoles.com:

What are your career aspirations following your volleyball-playing days? I hope to own my own business. My dad and his business partner invented Bagel Bites, so that kind of entrepreneurial spirit runs in our family.

HOLD THE PHONE.

Mosher's dad invented Bagel Bites?! Dot Your Eye research team, assemble!

"A nice fella by the name of Bob Mosher was working with a catering company whose specialty was a pizza-topped bagel. He noticed that party guests couldn't get enough of the little guys."

Well I'll be dipped. I wonder what else Bob came up with. Tater Tots? Ho-Ho's? Hot Pockets?

"Seven years ago...Mr. Mosher and (his Bagel Bites partner) Mr. Garczynski began their third decade of partnership, when they started Sox Development Inc. in Fort Myers."

Oh. Kind of a letdown.

Totally Unfair Photo Caption with the Charlotte 49ers

2011-10-25T19:50:00.000-07:00

Hey, there's celebrating, and then there's celebrating. You think KFC is still open?

WVU going to Big 12. So let's learn about their libero...?

2011-10-25T19:45:00.000-07:00

Why not.

With West Virginia apparently bailing for the Big 12, let's check in on the Mountaineers and an article about their libero, Courtney Robison.

According to the article, Robison was a setter before head mtneer Jill Kramer decided to make her into a libero.

"I haven't received a ball since I was 13 and I came into a meeting one day and Jill said, 'You are going to be a passer this year.'"

Aw, well that's OK. Remember, poise counts! So far things seem to be working out pretty well.

"She is playing defense completely different then (sic) she did when she got here," according to Kramer.

How so?

"She was kind of all over the place..."

Squirrel!

"...and just thought the more she moved around, the better she was doing."

Classic misdirection. That's how David Blaine does half his magic tricks. West Virginia was probably scoring 5-6 points in a row while the opposing team was focused on Robison.

The newly-minted libero made more concrete contributions when she was subbed in at 19-24 in the 4th against Pitt.

"Robison subbed in for WVU and immediately recorded a service ace and then served two tough balls that resulted in Pitt errors."

Whoa. That IS good stuff! So I'm assuming they won game four?

"Even though the Mountaineers lost the next point to send the match into the decisive fifth set..."

Worst. Example. Ever.

"...the momentum created by Robison helped lead the team to a 15-12 victory in the fifth set."

Oh, OK, I guess that counts.

Robison, hailing from Assumption H.S. and KIVA in Louisville, originally committed to Alabama, but then JudyJudyJudy retired.

"I called (new coach Ed Allen) to talk about summer classes and he told me that he signed another setter."

Welcome to another edition of Awkward Telephone Theater:

Robison: Hi, coach! What summer classes should I take?
Allen: I signed another setter.
(crickets)

I'm imagining Robison bounced right back from that adversity, dusted herself off, etc.?

"I was a hysterical mess and freaking out."

Boy this story just gets better and better. Let's get back to the uplifting stuff, OK? Like the fact that she wound up at WVU and things are now hunky-dory in Morgantown?

"Coming to Morgantown, Robison looked to carry that winning tradition from high school but quickly learned that college was nothing like high school."

Oh no. I can't look...

"It has been hard because I think that I always thought winning just happened."

Word. But things are good now, right? Life is good? Canweputthistobedwithsomekindofhappyending?

"When I came on my visit, the girls were great, I loved the team and I said to myself 'They have a scholarship for me, the coaches are really nice, the girls are really nice, it is close to home, and I have this opportunity.'"

Whew. Now I can sleep a little better.

So what in the world happened at Seton Hall / Marquette?

2011-10-25T17:22:00.000-07:00

If you read VolleyTalk, you know that Kris Zeiter was ejected from the fifth game of Seton Hall's match against Marquette. Since the post about the incident by "an embarrassed alum," the discussion has devolved into many, many sidebar discussions about the rights of alumni to post as an embarrassed alumni, the secret agendas of refereeing cabals, and whether or not Mick Haley has been re-animated.

However, there's been no media account of what happened, other than a brief mention in the Marquette write-up. Coach Zeiter doesn't even mention it in his coach's blog.

How does that happen? I'm sure Coach Zeiter is sorry the incident ever happened, but...seriously no one anywhere writing about this match wants to mention that at 9-6 in the fifth game, one of the head coaches was ejected?

How are we going to, you know, pass judgment or say everyone's overreacting if we don't know more? All we're left with now is an information vacuum, and everyone knows that in a vacuum of that sort, wild speculation runs rampant. That's just science.

People need to start saying more interesting things...

2011-10-25T06:50:00.000-07:00

"We played complete matches this weekend." WKU's Travis Hudson. Congrats. The rest of these teams just played two games and called it a night.

"Each week we've been raising the bar." - John Cook. I'm beginning to think the Huskers adopted a bar and are now raising it as their own, from a wee little pub.

"It's a good night to be a Matador." - CSUN head man Jeff Stork. Five bucks says the last CSUN volleyball player to utter those words was Alex Hager.

"Everybody knows that polls/rankings really don't mean anything significant in college sports other than football … but it's still hard to ignore them." - ESPN.com's Mechelle Voepel explaining the existence and continued life of AVCA poll threads on VolleyTalk. Well not really, but she might as well have been.

"Of the many adjectives that can be used to describe the Stanford women’s volleyball team’s play this weekend, pretty is not one of them." - Stanford Daily. Meeeeow.

"Aggies fall to No. 3 Cyclones." - Texas A&M Battalion. Hey, look, I know Iowa State is good, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Husker do!

2011-10-23T20:11:00.000-07:00

That's a pretty good argument - Huskers would like your consideration as the #1 team in the land after handing Hambly a four-game hoss. Loss. Loss is what I meant. No one hands a team a four-game hoss. That's just silly.

Ducks have a weird two nights - Barely come back to beat Washington State, then sweep Washington, all on their weird home floor. Shouldn't it look at least like a duck's nest? Ducks don't really hang out around pine trees, do they? Or do they. Do they?

The post-Pu era has begun - Orange get two wins post-Pu, including 4-game win over Seton Hall one day removed from the Zeiter Meltdown. (BTW, Brad Meltzer's next book is called "The Zeiter Meltdown".)

The power of Cameron? - It's not really a road trip for the Tarheels, right? I only know that because of the 20,000 times that basketball announcers tell you there's only eight miles between the two schools. That's like a trip to Target, isn't it? Should Sagula take his team to Target before the match next time?

This is how you honor the Sabbath?! - Villanova loses to St. John's? LSU loses to Ole Miss? Virginia Tech beats Clemson? Marshall beats SMU?! Blasphemers!

Colorado wins! - With a 4-game loss to UCLA, the Buffs have won their first...game of the Pac 12 season. Never thought you'd long for road trips to Lubbock again, did you, CU.

I get yer Yum Center right here. - Pittsburgh beats Louisville, AT Louisville. Promotion between games 2 & 3: first person to eat a Double Down and not have their heart start beating irregularly wins a side of biscuits.

What about Ramadan?

2011-10-19T14:38:00.000-07:00

We're a little late covering this tidbit, but it's still relevant. From the Rider volleyball page:

"Saturday is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement for the Jews. The Rider volleyball team will attempt to make amends for losing its last four matches when it hosts Loyola University Maryland in a Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference match, beginning at 3pm."

Hm. Interesting take. I wonder if that kind of intro would work for other special days?

"Sunday is Easter, the time to celebrate Jesus rising from the dead. The Rider Broncs baseball team hopes their offense will be reborn, too, after starting the season 0-7."

I like it. What else? Do we have to stay non-secular?

"Tomorrow is Secretary's Day, the day to celebrate office support staff. The Rider field hockey team looks to celebrate tomorrow, too, at their first-ever 'White Out' event."

Yes. YES. What about bordering on ludicrous?

"Friday is Earth Day, a time to celebrate our planet and to take steps to help our environment. The Rider golf team looks to do the same by planting tee shots in their home course's fertile fairways, hopefully helping the program to take root and provide competitive shade for future Broncos (all club covers will be made from hemp)."

Truly "old school" journalist discovers volleyball, likes it.

2011-10-19T14:19:00.000-07:00

I love this. This is a pure, unfiltered look at volleyball from an outsider. And it's gold.

The Durant Daily Democrat -- Gateway to Lake Texoma, don't you know -- has a columnist named Harold Harmon who apparently is just discovering women's volleyball. So enamored was he of Monday night's showdown between the University of Central Oklahoma and Southeastern Oklahoma State that he took pen to paper to describe the amazing sights he witnessed.

"Sports fans just never know when they will see -- or not see -- an absolute gem. That's why we go to the games."

Right there you know we're not dealing with some uptight sports nerd who sees the Durant Daily Democrat as a gateway to ESPN instead of Lake Texoma. Harold would like you to kick back in your easy chair and listen to the crickets outside your window as a cool autumn breeze rolls in off the lake.

"Southeastern should be selling indigestion pills at the game because this went five rounds."

Indigestion pills! God I love this guy. Last time I heard anyone say "indigestion pills" was at one of those awful frontier settlement reenactment places. But Harold is no reenactment.

"Most of us, at one time or another, have batted a volleyball over a net. Maybe we should say most of us have tried to bat a volleyball over a net. This is not the game we knew on the elementary playground at recess."

Are they playing volleyball on the elementary playgrounds in Oklahoma? Does Santiago know about this?

"(Volleyball) is played by athletes, some of whom are better than others, but who do not necessarily work harder at the game."

Whoa, don't go gettin' all preachy on me Harold. Let's get back to folksy idioms.

"First, this disclaimer: I know as much about volleyball as I know about women. I do know something about effort, hard work and desire to win."

Way to bury the lede, Harold! This goes up front. But crap I love the "aw shucks" of that sentence.

"Volleyball is a relatively late arrival on the local scene. Our Bryan County high schools do not play the game."

Note to self - email Neil Mason re: new opportunities in and around Bryan County.

"Our playground goal was to knock the dadgum ball back over the net as soon as possible."

DADGUM. It's official: I want this guy to have a podcast I can listen to ASAP. I don't even care if it's about volleyball.

"That mindset causes one to wonder if these gals are just a teeny bit goofy when the ball is right at the net and they will slap it to someone else on their own team instead of hitting it over. I think it's called a game plan."

Yeah, no one really understands setters. Best to learn that now, Harold.

"Yes, (the players) bounce. Yes, they get right back up. Yes, it has to hurt. Yes, they will make the same dive the next time it seems necessary."

A lot has changed since Babe Didrikson.

"Officiating the game is also weird."

Testify, my brother. How about those line judges?

"Sometimes, one flag will point down, the other up."

And sometimes, they're both wrong.

"It takes lots of time and lots of dedication to learn how to score volleyball."

OH GOD. Don't let volleyball broadcasters hear you say that. That'll just reinforce the need for those stupid rule reviews during each broadcast.

"Don't sweat it. Just watch the referees point to one side or the other. That will be the team getting the point."

See?! Do you hear that, volleyball announcers? Harold is JUST NOW seeing the game in all its glory, but he understands already how the game is played and scored. Harold. From the Durant Daily Democrat.

"It can get frustrating, trying to follow the action. Our gals jump up and knock the ball to the floor on the other side of the net, clearly within the lines. The referee gives the point to the other team. It will do no good to ask the person on either side of you because they have no idea why our team didn't get the point."

Oh, well...maybe I spoke too soon.

"This is not your grandmother's volleyball. That's not a knock on your grandmother."

Harold does not cotton to slandering grandmothers.

"It's just a way of saying that this game has come a long way, baby."

Virginia Slims! Smoking! Oh, remember the good ol' days when you could smoke? Even the women? That was progress.

"Volleyball is a heck of a game. You should visit the gym and check it out for yourself."

Next vacation I get, I want to sit in a gym somewhere in Oklahoma and watch a match with Harold.

Uh-oh. It's starting again.

2011-10-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

In case you thought last year's spate of mid-season firings were a fluke, the spectre has raised its head again with the "relieving of duties" of Jing Pu at Syracuse.

Relieved of duties. That's one of those corporate terms created to not accurately reflect anything, right?

"Here, let me handle those duties for you. You're relieved."

"Not really, I'm actually kinda upset."

"Relieved!"

Totally Unfair Photo Caption with Jim Harbaugh and Jim Schwartz

2011-10-16T19:49:00.000-07:00

"Good game to you and the Lions!"

(shake, BACKSLAP)

"That's an awfully forceful handshake!"

"Get out of my face!"

(skirmish, hullabaloo)

The weekend that was the weekend

2011-10-16T19:42:00.000-07:00

You didn't turn off the MN - NE game early, did you? - If you heard swearing and furious keyboarding Saturday night, that was the myriad sportswriters having to change their story from "Gophers sweep Huskers" to "Uh...something's happening!", as the Huskers swept the next three.

Welcome back, Cook! - Speaking of Nebraska, everyone's favorite punching bag, Coach Cook, can't really say anything right these days without people getting furiously outraged, so returning to Madison was a minefield he was never going to navigate successfully...but they won in three straight, so that's something.

Is the Gold Medal Unsquared? - Washington goes O-fer in NorCal. Not enough pancakes?

This whole 5-game thing blows - NC State can't buy a five-game win, after falling to Va Tech in 5, the fifth such loss in a row for the Wolfpack. The mixed it up the next day, though, losing to UVA in 4. Yay...?

Meanwhile in the Big Lonesome -- I mean Big 12... - Still a conference, right? Just checking. It's like being at a party with the two coolest kids in school, only one of them left about a half hour ago, and now everyone else is kinda looking at each other, wondering if anyone's going to dance, and who's the new dude in purple with the horns?

Wildcats slowly driving their coach insane - Kentucky beats Tennessee, then loses to Mississippi State in three. Being a UK fan must like being a "Mad Men" fan; for every awesome episode, you get one that leaves you saying, "I'm never watching again."

So I take it jet lag wasn't a problem? - Hawaii travels allll the way to Louisiana Tech to watch their hosts hit -.074 and in a 9, 9, and 14 for the Wahine. Louisiana Tech had 15 total kills for the match. Hawaii had 8 errors for the match. Every player for Louisiana Tech that had 6 or more kills hit negative for the match.

Beth Launiere knows three things - 1. They beat Colorado, 2. They beat Washington State, 3. They beat Arizona State. It's not much, but it's better than what Colorado and WSU know.

On the other hand, Jason Watson knows one thing - They snapped their 11-match losing streak by beating Colorado. Gotta start somewhere.

Schlemiel / Schlimazel nips Lombardi Land - Wisconsin-Milwaukee beat Wisconsin Green Bay in 5, 15-12 in the fifth in the annual Horizon Conference Cheese Showdown.

Toreros' post-USF funk nonexistent - USD has won 7 in a row since losing to the San Francisco Treat, including a 4-game win over LMU where Chloe Ferrari hit .652.

Totally Unfair Photo Caption with Chris Poole

2011-10-10T20:19:00.000-07:00

"Mi, miiii -- no, guys, someone's flat. Can we get on the right key? Miiiii mi-mi-do-you-hear-it-mi-mi-miiiiii."

Words.

2011-10-10T20:17:00.000-07:00

"1995?!"

"It was a great environment, it was an intense match, it was really fun to be a part of." - Kevin Hambly on Illinois' first win in Happy Valley since "My So-Called Life" was still on TV.

"We gave them twice as many points as they earned. What's the positive here? What am I looking for?" - Russ Rose, obviously not agreeing with Hambly's sunny outlook.

"They don't know what they need to do. We keep telling them the same thing. I can't do it for them. I'm tired of telling them the same thing. I'm sure they're tired of what I have to say." - More from Russ. 100 bucks to anyone brave enough to ask Russ, "Hey what do I need to do?" this week.

"CSU volleyball team falls out of Top 25 for first time since 2009" - The Coloradoan. Well, they did lose to Wyoming. That's enough, isn't it?

"One thing the Terrapins volleyball team has been yearning for all season is consistency. It may have found it this past weekend -- just not the kind it was hoping for." - The Diamondback Online after Maryland lost its third in a row. Gee, thanks student newspaper for the support.

"We're really immature." - New Mexico's Jeff Nelson after the Lobos lost the 5th against SDSU despite having a 14-9 lead. Yikes. Well nothing like losing 14-9 lead to make you age faster...

"Volleyball Overcomes New Mexico in Five Sets" - goaztecs.com. C'mon, headline writer! You didn't even try. The Aztecs were down 9-14 in the fifth game and managed to snatch a win from the lupine jaws of defeat that New Mexico had primed and ready to spring on the exposed SDSU jugular. See? Was that so hard?

"One of (Stephanie Ferrel's) best shots today was not the 60 mph swing. It was the off-speed kill to the deep corner." - Mary Wise. So we're talking, what, the school zone-approved 25 mph or...?

"I just kind of rolled (my ankle) a little bit. I have had a lot of history with this ankle." - Stephanie Ferrell. Well, yeah. It's been with you your whole life, so...

"Well as a kid I would have said Bill Pullman." - Duke's Kayla Kirk when asked who her dream date would be. Bill. Pullman. And what young kid wouldn't swoon over his performances in "Casper" and "Mr. Wrong."

Oh, hey, did I lose a week somewhere?

2011-10-09T20:23:00.000-07:00

Big Ten worlds collide - Over 5,000 people saw the Illinois / Penn State battle decided by a 5th game that featured 5-1 runs by both teams. I'm sure neither coach will mention that on Monday...

That's downright weird. - Duke had a rough road trip to Virginia, but escaped with two 5-game wins in spookily similar ways: Vs. Va Tech, 16-25, 25-17, 23-25, 25-17, 15-10. Vs. UVA, 18-25, 25-21, 24-26, 25-17, 15-10. We'll have the guy from "Ancient Aliens" in later to explain how this was pre-arranged by Martians who landed here during colonial times.

That whacky A-10... - Last weekend, Bobby Schneck's brigadiers had the misfortune of losing to La Salle, which averages about one conference win per presidential term. This weekend? Oh, just knocking off previously surging Duquesne in three straight, that's all. Kooky.

Gehan? We don't need no stinkin' Gehan. - Cal goes to Oregon's weirdo forest floor gym and clears some timber, 25-12 in the third.

Florida State International on top of ACC - Big win for the worldly Seminoles Friday against the Tar Heels, then they escaped a "trap" match against the vastly, massively, hugely improved NC State program.

Bucky tops Meeechigan - That's new, right?

Cal Poly tough to figure - Beat UC Davis and Pacific one weekend, success! Lose to UCI next weekend, nuts. What would Paul Walker say?

Oh yeah, how's Hawaii doing? - Because we rarely realize what's going on until we hear how they got screwed over in the tournament bracket, here's a little update: 15-1, only loss to UCLA, and Dave Shoji is now playing Chin Ho.

Arizona drops UCLA like they're hot - Wildcats in 5 over Bruins! What say you, Rubio? "UCLA didn’t come in here juiced and we are good enough to push a team like that." ...what? Is Rubio saying his team is able to push a team not on 'roids? Is that what he's saying? (No, but it's fun to act outraged for no reason)

Hawkeyes in search of some TLC

2011-10-07T08:52:00.000-07:00

"We need a little love right now." - Sharon Dingman.

Cryptozoology invades the northwest!

2011-10-06T17:09:00.000-07:00

Either there's something seriously wrong with the ducks in Eugene, Ore., or the headline writer took all of 2 seconds to come up with a headline for this article before moving on to much more pressing matters on the football page.

What just happened...?

2011-09-30T06:44:00.001-07:00

Boston College SWEEPS Virginia Tech? I know it was a home match for BC, but...how many people could've been there? But then it's not like Siena beat Marist. OH WAIT, that happened too.

We're being awfully generous with the term "losing streak"

2011-09-30T06:44:00.000-07:00

It's a whopping two matches. TWO. Is it possible Stanford's athletic program has had too much success?

...and you can quote me on that.

2011-09-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

"We’re really bonding and getting along great. Our chemistry is really good on and off the court.” - UNC's Cameron Van Noy. On AND off the court? C'mon.

"The second set did come with a scare, though. Toward the end of the set, freshman outside hitter Tirah Le’au went down with an apparent injury to her right ankle." - From Georgia's student newspaper, the Red and Black. "Apparent injury" to her ankle? That's your scare? I thought it was going to be more like "Freshman outside Tirah Le'au got a scare when she was discovered running with scissors dangerously close to the North Korean border." THAT's scary.

"Everyone feels a whole lot better after..." Tim Horsmon. After sundown? After a good cigar? After the expiration date? "...after [sweeping NC State]." Oh. I keep expecting more out of these quotes.

"Volleyball trounces Fordham in five sets" - from the Stony Brook Statesman. A five-set "trouncing"? How does that work?

"If one area of Oregon’s game stood out against Utah, it would be assists, the one phase of volleyball that stands out as a measure of scoring." - from the Salt Lake Tribune. Yeah but... eh, never mind.

"Following the loss to the Gauchos, Gimmillaro stayed up till 4am making adjustments." - Long Beach Gazettes. 4 a.m. Kathy realllly got under Brian's skin, didn't she.

"We call it winning creatively." - WMU's Colleen Munson on her team's uneven performance against Central Michigan. I'm sure there are a lot of coaches out there who wished all their matches' scoring was based on artistic impression.

So NOW who's #1?

2011-09-25T18:13:00.000-07:00

LA doesn't care for your NorCal ways, nerds - USC took a more direct route to beating Stanford and Cal than UCLA, but the result was the same: Stanford and Cal come up empty in LA. Oh and Hagglund and Gera are the two best liberos in America. Discussion over.

First running of the Awkward Games goes to Huskers - Two more uncomfortable handshakes still to come.

Hey when's Jenn get back? - Cheap shot, absolutely, after USD loses to San Francisco. Hilliard's previous tenure was stellar, and the Toreros have a history of taking the Struggle Shuttle to San Fran.

Non-shocker of the Weekend - Villanova beats Notre Dame in South Bend? You can hardly blame the Irish, what with their conference imploding. But then again, the football team is winning, so that's something, right?

Check out the big brain on Auburn! - New coach? New sweeps of Alabama and Ole Miss!

Hitting .295 means 0.00 - Sorry, Charlie. Despite good offense from the Gators, Tennessee serves notice by winning a 5-game thrilla in Gainesvilla.

Whew, right? - Badgers defend Camp Randall against those Wascally Wildcats, much to everyone's relief. Well, not to Keylor's, sure.

Arizona State loses to WSU? - Dude.

Coaches Poll Conundrum - It's gonna be hard to keep LBSU in their default 21-24 spot after their loss to the Gauchos, but I have faith that the coaches can make it work somehow, since accuracy is rarely a characteristic of the poll...

Boilers ain't playin' y'all. - Purdue sweeps Michigan! Of course, you do understand that this means Rosen and Rosen will be waiting behind a door in Ann Arbor with a sock full of pennies. Better get out the reverse peep hole.

Fun with names. Tee-hee. - William AND Mary loses to George Mason. That should count as two wins for GMU, right? A-HAHAHAHA.

Sneaky Team of the Week Alert - Just in case no one's noticed, UC Davis is 16-1. Watch your backs. That's all I'm sayin'.

Rock Chalk Schmay Schmalk - Texas not impressed with Captain Ray Bechard's 11-1 start to the season, wins in 3.

Hey everybody, what's the deal with Clemson? - I'm sure Head Coach Jolene Hoover is wondering the same thing after losing to Jacksonville, but taking Duke the distance before falling 25-23 in the fifth.

Totally Unfair Picture Captions with Cook and Russ

2011-09-22T07:15:00.000-07:00

Cook: That ball was out.

Rose: What?

Cook: Oh, sorry, uh, just a reflex thing.

A good quote is hard to find

2011-09-20T18:33:00.000-07:00

"We welcome the opportunity to compete in one of the best volleyball conferences in the country." - Toby Rens, Pitt. Suckup. Have some pride, man.

"I think it definitely raises the bar. Playing Penn State raises the bar and being in a conference that’s this deep and competitive is going to raise the bar. Maybe ... we didn’t have to play our best to win, but now the bar has been raised." - John Cook going on and on about being raised in a bar or something.

"To err is human, but the Gators are slowly overcoming that." - Intro sentence from article in the Independent Florida Gator. I'm gonna go ahead and strive for the divine and forgive the journalist for writing it.

"Anything that is thrown our way — fast, scrappy, savvy, powerful; you name it, we've seen it." - Georgetown head coach Arlisa Williams.

"Northwestern High School seniors and identical twin sisters Whitney and Courtney Grimm are also Clark State Community College freshmen. At the same time!" - (Springfield News-Sun) I'm officially protesting the use of an exclamation point in that last sentence.

"I can’t make people who don’t listen, listen, and I can’t make people talk who don’t talk, and I can’t make people not be spacey who are spacey." - Russ. And I can't make you love me, if you don't. You can't make your heart feel, something it won't. ...and other various Bonnie Raitt lyrics.

"At this time last year, it was more like, 'Oh crap. We've got holes." - FGCU's Dave Nichols. You know what's good for that? Spackle.

Aww...

2011-09-20T17:24:00.000-07:00

That's about the saddest headline I've ever seen. Poor conference leftovers...

I believe the name of the new conference will be "Oates."

Totally Unfair Photo Caption with Dave Rubio

2011-09-18T19:25:00.000-07:00

"Here I come to save the daaaaaay!"

Andy Kaufman? Anyone? No?

It's Monday: Big East staff should probably spruce up that resumé

2011-09-18T19:12:00.000-07:00

"Who are you people?"

Beating Nebraska was the worst thing they could've done - What's up with CSU? This weekend they lost to Denver at Denver. Is it that big of a home court advantage for the Pioneers? Especially with the 613 in attendance? (Which we all know via sports info director math means there were actually 421 at the match.)

No one wants to be second in the Pac 12 - Someone explain how UCLA can sweep USC, who then sweeps Washington, who out-and-out clobbers the Bruins? Then explain String Theory. I don't get that, either.

Status quo? - I'll give you $100 if you can explain the significance of Notre Dame beating Wisconsin. I think we're pretty much in the same place, right?

Ohhh! 25-16! That's different - A RichKern.com typo made Long Island on the receiving end of a 25-1 game loss to FGCU. I know FGCU took a game off of Penn State, but that would've been ridiculous.

Speaking of which, aren't we over this "Russ Rose Experiment"? - Clearly the glory days are over if they can't beat FGCU in 3. The guy had a good run, but I think we need to end the charade and hire a real coach already.

Good luck in your new conference! - Colorado gets swept by Utah, Cal, and Stanford. Perhaps this season will be titled "We're Dancing as Fast as We Can"?

This is how the Hatfields and McCoys got started - "The feud between Little Rock and Pine Bluff? Weeell, that there conflict started back in '11, before the formation of the BigPacSEC in '12, when the former took the latter to the woodshed on a September day, 25-7, 9, and 9."

Hope you enjoyed the Big East / Big Ten Challenge - Illinois and Purdue went 2-0 in what we'll refer to next year as, "Hey remember when there was a Big East? That was fun."

You've had your fun, MAC. Now pipe down. - Michigan State stops their MAC losing streak at one with a 3-0 victory over Ball State.

Look out! It's...UCONN! - After a 2010 season that everyone involved with would like to forget, the Huskies are 8-5 after a win over the Wahoos.

Go ahead and take the long way. I've got time. - Two matches in a row, the Hoyas got down 0-2 before coming back to win in 5.

Let's lose to Northern Illinois more often! - Marquette won six in a row after their loss to Ray Gooden's Goodies, a streak snapped only by a 5-game loss to Minnesota.

I can't see the Forest for the Wake - That's my tortured intro to mentioning that the Demon Deacons bumped off Duke. Like it? Me too.

I know it's early...

2011-09-18T19:09:00.000-07:00

...but I'm thinking Athletic Director of the Year goes to the two knuckleheads at Cal Poly.

If these two were park rangers at Mount St. Helens, they'd have been sitting there saying, "No, I haven't noticed anything unusua--" KABLAM.

By the way, in terms of "dotting the eye" on this story more thoroughly... where do you start? Is it with the alleged instance when, while watching "Fast and Furious" in his office with a player, Stevenson -- again, allegedly -- said, "Paul Walker, he masturbates fast and furious"?

Now, this doesn't upset me as a volleyball enthusiast nearly as much as it upsets me as an appreciator of solid humor.

"Masturbates fast and furious"? REALLY? That's your go-to material? Ignoring for a moment that there are no discernible lessons to be learned, volleyball or otherwise, from "Fast and Furious," so I don't know why you're watching it in the office, that's just poor craftsmanship.

Allegedly.

Q&As: A sports info staple

2011-09-18T18:42:00.000-07:00

This one's from Florida State with Fatma Yildirim and Sareea Freeman. Anything interesting?

3. Do you have any nicknames from the team?
On the team they call me Fat or Fauti. I do not know how they originated but I like my nicknames.

"Fat"? Look, I don't want to make any judgements about your friends, but...

6. What motto do you live by?
Whenever I feel down, or whenever something bad happens, I say to myself if I am still alive I will find my way out of this situation.

Coincidentally, that's MacGuyver's motto, too.

7. Finish this sentence: When I found out we were playing Miami on ESPNU, I...

...asked "Why?" Wondered what ESPNU was? Immediately assumed that a cheerleading competition had been rained out?

I was shocked/surprised. This game is going to be big and Miami is going to be great competition for us.

That makes more sense, except for the "great" part. FSU swept.

5. What type of music do you listen to before a big match?
I listen to music with beats.

Huh. "Beats."

6. Have you gotten into any shows lately? If so, which shows?
I have gotten into Pretty Little Liars. The actresses' personalities remind me of my group of friends back home!

The characters on a show called "Pretty Little Liars" remind you of your friends? The show's called "Pretty Little Liars."

Analysis of a 25-9 game

2011-09-18T18:40:00.000-07:00

The FGCU / LIU score was a typo. The 25-9 game two win by Hawaii over Pepperdine was not, however.

How does this happen? This isn't one of your crazy Pablo mismatches we're talking about. These are two good teams with talent and coaching. Thankfully the Hawaii website has a play-by-play, so we can get some idea of what happened... besides the development of a new facial tic for the Pepperdine coaching staff.

We analyze this not to invite scorn, but out of sheer curiosity. A 25-9 game is kinda like Bigfoot: I've heard about it, but have never seen one in person.

Things started innocently enough with a Jane Croson kill putting Hawaii up 2-1, but the floodgates open as Hawaii goes on a 10-1 run. Seven of the 10 points come off of Wahine kills.

Pepper and the Dine hold Hawaii to only a 2-point run, but by the time Mita Uiato is done serving, it's 19-4, and Nina's already filling out her lineup sheet for game 3.

Hawaii gets to the doorstep at 24-6 and then strangely enough gives up three straight to Pepperdine, before finishing off the game.

All in all, Pepperdine hit .000 with a twin set of 7s in kills and errors on 33 swings. The Wahine, on the other hand, had 15 kills and 1 error on 32 swings for .438.

Well that's not as interesting as I thought it might be, but what can you do.

And this wasn't the only blowout game of the weekend, of course. Albany dropped a 25-8 bomb on Maryland, San Diego treated GW rather harshly, 25-9, as did Cal with Utah, Arkansas with Alabama, and UNLV with Fresno State.

Coming soon from Paramount Pictures...

2011-09-14T19:00:00.000-07:00

Paul Giamatti IS Chuck Erbe in...

"USC: the Boogie Down Years"

Totally Unfair Photo Caption with uclabruins.com

2011-09-11T18:19:00.000-07:00

This is the kind of promotion usually reserved for Quarterflash / .38 Special concerts.

Week 2 and Northern California is makin' a move

2011-09-11T18:15:00.001-07:00

SPOOKY - Get a load of this: Notre Dame beats Lipscomb. Lipscomb beats Portland. Portland (dramatic pause) beats Notre Dame. Weird, right? It's like trying to figure out the timelines from "The Terminator." "If John Connor's dad, was sent back in time, by John Connor, so that he could become his dad..." I think this is called the Circle of Futility.

Stanford - Cal match should be a real dilly - Stanford's wins over PSU and FLA, and Cal's wins over, uh, Sac State and UT - Arlington, make Tuesday's NorCal showdown reaalllly interesting, despite the conflict with the penultimate episode of America's Got Talent.

Westwood goes to Watts, wins - UCLA got its first sweep at USC since 1993 in front of a Galen Center-record 5,385, breaking the old record by probably about 4,400. I assume they were giving out extra credit at the door.

Dear Selection Committee: Get us the hell out of here. Signed, USD - I think San Diego is trying to send a message to that austere group (COUGH HACK GAG!), the NCAA Selection Committee. The Toreros have played LIU, Missouri State, Duke, UNC, and will also take on GW and Indiana, in what's known as the "We're Tired of Playing UCLA or USC in the First Two Rounds" Tour.

Looks like Pepperdine is serious this time - Waves should lose to Miami (Fl.) before every big road trip.

Hey, hey, Paula - Aneaters beat Portland State for their second decent-slash-good win of the year.

How 'bout those Falcons! - Michigan State walked into an ambush in Bowling Green, OH, when nearly 3,000 fans came out to see the Orange and Brown (ugh) go all "Sparta!!!" on the Spartans.

Central Arkansas? - In all honesty, I didn't even know they were a D1 school, but then I don't get out much. I know now, as does Northwestern, after losing in five to the Sugar Bears. ...Sugar Bears? This school was founded by the inventor of Post Super Sugar Crisp?

Siena: Not just for crayons anymore - Saints beat Colorado for the MAAC's first win over a Pac 12 team! Good luck with allll that, Buffs.

B-Y me? BYU. - And it's BYU over Utah for supremacy in the Osmond State! Last time the Cougs won at Utah, "Good Luck Chuck" was entertaining weird little pockets of people across America.

Purdue, Ball State reenact Cain and Abel (but not really so don't freak) - Purdue beats Ball State in four games. Hey, did you know, that the Purdue coach, and the Ball State coach, are brothers?! You didn't? Then you're the ONLY one left in the world without that knowledge.

Rock, Chalk, Jay Block - Gophers were flying high last week after pulling a reverse Alamo in Minneapolis against Texas. But KS out-blocked MN 18 to 9.5 en route to a 5-game winner, winner, Ray's buying dinner.

"We beat Nebraska! We beat Nebraska! We-- wait, what just happened?" - Hilbert's Harbingers of Doom, after upsetting Nebraska last weekend, lose to the Lamb Shockers!

"We beat Colorado State! We beat -- what's this now?" - Then the Lamb Shockers totally lost to Northern Colorado!

"We beat Northern Colorado, so...(sigh)." - CSU beat NCU, thus completing another Circle of Futility.

This is where it gets ugly

2011-09-11T18:15:00.000-07:00

Stevenson has been fired. We know that. There are allegations of sexual harassment. We know that. Everything else is being left to the wonderful world of conjecture, inferring, guessing that lives deep within VolleyTalk.

It's a glorious time.

Sure, it's not glorious if you're looking for actual facts, or the bottom line, or any of that (and if you are looking to VolleyTalk for facts on a story like this, you, you're...you're not good). And so far, we've yet to get a follow up from Stevenson on Twitter or his blog. But if you're looking for pure entertainment, BEHOLD, THE POWER OF VOLLEYTALK:

If,...every college coach that ever hugged and/or kissed a player was dismissed,...half would be out looking for a job.

Yikes. Frightening mental images occurring...

...this is actually reverse sexual discrimation (sic)

Nice! Change the argument, go on the offensive. Bonus points for leaving out the "in" in "discrimination."

...do you think those kids were fully apprised of what was at stake when they were interviewed by the employment equity people?

You mean when the kids were asked a series of what I can only assume were probing questions concerning the behavior and comments of their head coach? Those interviews?

I'm gonna go ahead and assume that they were smart enough to suss out what might occur.

Jon is so full of crap...

How full of crap is he?

He tells you what you want to hear and tries to play dumb about his action toward his players.

Oh, that's...that's kinda not what I was expecting.

Pepp beats Bruins, tries to erase everyone's collective memory of Miami loss

2011-09-08T07:44:00.000-07:00

I have no idea what to think about this. All this means is there are more questions than answers, such as, "What?"

Sam Cash was one of two players to hit over .300 in the match, obviously making Johnny proud. She's got rhythm. Walk the line? She must have hit it. Those shots are surrounded by a ring of fire. I hear she's dating a new guy, a boy named Sue. It is annoying though when she's called for being in the net, she always says the same thing: It ain't me, babe.

(...OK that's probably enough, right?)

Oh boy...

2011-09-07T16:23:00.000-07:00

Anyone think we'll ever see "the TRUTH" posted at the blog coachjonnystevevolleytruth? I'm thinking any lawyer worth his salt is going to advise against his client posting anything that could remotely be deemed "admissible."

Ugh.

2011-09-04T20:30:00.000-07:00

This is like every M. Night Shyamalan movie after "The Sixth Sense": I don't really care what happens, just tell me how it ends.

Peter Parker missing after CSU fans storm court

2011-09-04T20:13:00.001-07:00

Nebraska vs. Colorado State was such a big match, even Spider-Man took time away from wrecking Broadway to watch. (I can't tell from here if that's Tobey Maguire or Andrew Garfield.)

Tennessee is in no rush - Four out of six Volunteer matches have gone five games, with Rob Patrick's People winning three of them, but losing to Houston.

Double down on UNLV! - Oh, the Runnin' Rebs caught a couple of aces on the river on the way to wins over Central Arkansas and Morehead State! Now they're flush with confidence to up the ante on an inside straight path to a full house of...blinds, or something.

Hawaii def. LBSU in 5! - That kind of match used to happen a lot more often. Remember?

When you say Wis-consin! - I, I can't. It's too painful...

Gee this is fun - The AEC defending champ Albany is 0-6 after scheduling such lightweights as Kentucky, Tulsa, Florida State, Nebraska, Colorado State, and the closest to them RKPI-wise, Colorado. Right now they're back home, packed in ice.

Apparently RKPI might not be very accurate

2011-09-04T20:13:00.000-07:00

How about some easy ones for starters:

Arkansas (136) beats Wake Forest (48).
Utah Valley (130) beats Cal Poly (34).
Gonzaga (177) beasts Portland State (81).
Arkansas State (163) beats Lipscomb (61).
Boston College (153) beats Utah (50).
Houston Baptist (218) beats UTSA (106).

Now let's get nutty:

UCF (122) beats USC (4).
Stephen F. Austin (214) beats UAB (95).
UTEP (235) beats American (90)
Georgetown (199) beats Wake Forest (48).
Northern Arizona (216) beats New Mexico (44).

And the grand champion of the weekend, with an RKPI difference of 190, is:

Jacksonville (242) beats Clemson (52).

Don't look now, but Todd's got yer pebble, Mick.

2011-09-04T20:12:00.002-07:00

"It's a nice gym, Todd, but the lighting's a little odd."

You have to go with a "Kung Fu" reference for this one, right? The former assistant improbably knocking off his former boss? Student - teacher relationship?

One thing's for certain: Should Cookie Stevens ever get a head coaching job, Mick will never schedule them.

Something's afoot at the Cal Poly...

2011-09-04T20:12:00.001-07:00

So last year -- you remember last year? -- we had a couple of mid-season firings, something we don't normally get in volleyball. Well, this year it took only two weekends for one to occur, without explanation, via this press release:

The mystery deepened when this turned up on Jon Stevenson's alleged Twitter account:

Watching the team I built, trained, and prepared lose to inferior teams i.e. santa clara and university of utah but I have no access.

Still no explanation. What's the story here? Then that tweet was followed by this one:

look for the truth (when the time is right) on blogger.com. This is sad, sad, sad. I feel horribly for the kids. Folks can call anytime...

This is a little stranger. Where on blogger.com are we supposed to look? I wasn't aware that Stevenson had a blogger.com account, and I'm part of the blogger.com community! I've seen no references to this in our weekly blogger.com meetings.

And who are these "folks" that have been given the OK to call? Is he expecting phone calls but maybe was on a long-distance call for a long time, so now he wants to let you know, "Hey, if you tried to call earlier, I was talking long-distance. But I'm off the phone now, so...call. Folks. Anytime."

As we said, this is allegedly Stevenson's Twitter account. You're never 100% sure about these things, so we looked at the other tweets.

"Ky Athersone joined our practice yesterday and we had a very spirited workout."

OK, that seems to be a solid indicator that this is Stevenson's account.

"I WAS able to spend time with the Dodd's - Mike, though my friend, has been a great mentor to me."

Has to be Stevenson, right? Atherstone reference, Dodd reference

"It's complicated"...a "chick flick" or reality?

No way this is Jon Stevenson's Twitter account. I refuse to believe he ever watched the movie "It's Complicated."

Telegram!

2011-09-04T20:12:00.000-07:00

FROM: LAURA
TO: USA VOLLEYBALL
ATTN: HUGH
SO, HEY, YOU KNOW HOW YOU'RE COMING BACK TO SCHOOL AFTER THE OLYMPICS? WELL, UH, IF YOU WANT TO STAY WITH THE NATIONAL TEAM A WHILE LONGER, NO BIGGIE. IF YOU WANT. IT'S UP TO YOU.

Nebraskans on the loose in Kansas?

2011-09-01T18:58:00.000-07:00

The Daily Kansas ventured out to do a story about a couple of Ray Bechard's freshmen charges. What's the opening volley?

"They're both outside hitters. They're both from Nebraska. They're both freshmen..." And they're both cousins! Identical cousins all the way!

"And they're both starters on the Kansas volleyball team."

The Patty Duke Show never gets its due.

So we're talking about Nebraskans Sara McClinton and Chelsea Albers, freshmen for the Jayhawks. Let's learn more.

"To secure her role as a starter for the season's first three games, McClinton had to play catch-up with the upperclassmen who stayed over the summer."

Yes, plus she has to play catch-up because, you know, she was born 1-3 years later than the upperclassmen...

"Starting so early is an unexpected perk for Albers."

Like free dry-cleaning or your own parking space.

"Both freshmen had to work hard just to avoid being redshirted by Bechard."

Well that's rather ominous, isn't it? "You work hard or I'll put this red shirt on you!" I wonder if Ray keeps one hanging from the rafters in the gym, throws it at someone if he thinks they're slacking. "Redshirt!"

"'(Redshirting) is a tough call,' Bechard said. 'Sometimes a year of development, like in Caroline Jarmoc's case, is a good move.'"

Right, Caroline Jarmoc...

Um, look. This is embarrassing, but I'm only in my first year of volleyball case work, so I haven't gotten to Big 12 precedents such as Jarmoc v. Jayhawk.

The article goes on to say that chemistry is another challenge the two frosh face. Why are they treating being a freshman like it's akin to having leprosy?

"OH MY GOD! These two are YOUNGER than the others!!!" Thousands of people across America face this same "dilemma" every year, you know.

"'Growing up in Nebraska, I think it gave us a huge advantage,'" McClinton said."

I believe that's the first time growing up in Nebraska has been cited as an advantage of some kind. (Settle down, I kid, don't get bent out of shape.)

Let's meet...someone

2011-09-01T18:29:00.000-07:00

Hey there's an article about Colorado State's Kelsey Snider titled "Patience pays off for CSU volleyball player Kelsey Snider"! So what's she been so patient about, like patience is sooo important?
"Kelsey Snider received questionnaires from 67 college volleyball programs."

Ah, so she was patient with all the paper cuts she got from the questionnaires, or...?

"And now, after sitting out last fall as a redshirt..."

OK, scratch that, scratch the paper cut statement. I'm with you now: She was patient about having to launder all those red shirts, you know, separate them from your whites. Gotcha.

And now, now she's ready to play for the Rams as their starting right side. So besides washing all those shirts, what was Snider doing last year?

"It helped me understand CSU's system, the blocking system, stuff like that."

Really? How complicated is Hilbert's blocking system? Is this a card-counting scenario? Is a working knowledge of Visual C++ needed? It's blocking.

At any rate, she seems to have it figured out, being a starter and all. What's Hilbert say?

"She has these incredible days, where she shows flashes of brilliance."

Uh-oh. I'm sensing an "On the other hand" coming.

"And she has days where..."

I knew it. Here we go. This is gonna hurt.

"...she shows a lot of youth."

Tactful!

"What really sets her apart, though, Hilbert said, is her blocking ability."

You mean the blocking she does in that complicated system?

"I just love the act of blocking."

Ah so it's all just an act. Snider doesn't really care about blocking at all, does she. DOES SHE.

"She plays very hard all the time, though," Hilbert said. So I guess she does care. But how much does she care?

"Sometimes she's calling for sets that she's not really ready to take."

If there's anything a coach hates, it's players calling for a set on the right side while sitting on the end of the bench. Soooo annoying.

"There are times when I have to rein her back in and tell her, 'Hey, be a a little more patient,'" Hilbert said.

Aaaand we're back to the patience thing. I thought we were past this.

Hey, what'd those people say after those matches?

2011-08-31T06:34:00.000-07:00

"I asked if anyone wanted to be our Jupiter. I think Deja said 'Hey I got some time.'” - Russ on Deja's schedule clearing up to rock the house. I wonder how many other coaches have thought of simply asking their players if they could suddenly transform into a human wrecking ball? Russ! Always one step ahead.

"If we were on a neutral court, (we) probably could win (the Penn State match) in four." - Mick. Well, Mick, did you ever think of asking your team to play the match as if you were on a neutral court? HMM?

"I did nothing." - Oregon's Jim Moore, on what he did to turn around the match against Penn State. Then he caught a fly with chopsticks.

"(Oregon) definitely stretched us as much as we can be comfortably stretched right now." - Top Gopher Laura Bush. So is that like a Downward Facing Dog-kind of thing, or...?

"NIU women's volleyball traveled to the cheesiest place on Earth Tuesday night." - NIU's Northstar newspaper. NIU went to the set of "Burn Notice" Tuesday night? "Facing the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay." Ohhh.

"We're disappointed but not dissatisfied." - UNC's Joe Sagula. What?

Hm.

2011-08-31T05:36:00.000-07:00

Look, we all love ducks, but... c'mon.

First weekend! Let's make some rash judgments!

2011-08-28T19:47:00.000-07:00

This might be the best time of the year in volleyball. This is our one chance to really go nuts and extrapolate wild, sweeping generalizations with a really poor data sample size.

Oregon is for real! ...at least on Friday night! - We are! Penn State...? Obviously, anytime a bunch of Ducks walk into Happy Valley and win, it means the Rise of the Duck and the end of Penn State as any kind of powerhouse program, right? Well, until you get to Saturday night, when...

USC doesn't want to be #1! - USC almost ran the table on the weekend after defeating the Gopher Nation in 5, and then being up 17-11 in the 4th against PSU before the wheels fell off, and the bus went in a ditch, breaking both axles, creating an environmental biohazard. Yeah, it was that ugly. Oh, also the Gophers overcame the Ducks.

See also... "Micah Hancock: Better than sliced bread?", "Thanks a lot, Falyn", and "What does it all mean?! A Gopher Guide to Strange Days."

Texas is only great against American opponents! - Sure, beat Pepp and Ole Miss, but not so fortunate against Israel, were ya'? That could prove meaningful exactly never.

Kentucky can't ever beat Florida State! - Or maybe just Seminole teams loaded with foreigners. Something like that.

Assistants are more important than anyone thought! - Sure, you need someone to chart your passing for you and to look good in a polo shirt. But, Whitis leaves TN. TN needs five games to beat Ohio and Maryland. Sullivan and Stemke leave Lincoln. Huskers need five to beat the Aggies. See? That's incontrovertible evidence that assistants mean more!

Benson-less Indiana is doomed! - Either that or CSU and Va Tech are just, you know, better than Indiana on these two nights in August. Where have you gone, Robert Guillaume?

Kent Miller's is powerless against Chippewas! - In his return to head coaching, Miller's Billikens beat Marquette, beat Iowa, and then lost to Central Michigan? Who of course lost to Iowa and Marquette?

The glory days are back for the Wramblin' Wreck! - Three wins including an upset of Louisville! Happy days are here again! The skies above are clear again! Now we'll get to the Elite 8 and lose to Hawaii!

Washington hates prairies! - 5. 7. 9. Is it Michael Landon? A personal vendetta against Melissa Gilbert? A distaste for half pints?

Ya' don't say...

2011-08-25T18:17:00.001-07:00

The only question here is, which came first? Did Love lose in the opening round so that he could talk about the lockout? Or did he talk about the lockout because he lost in the opening round?

I have my 10,000 hours in -- we're using a little Malcolm Gladwell here -- I have my 10,000 hours in basketball and they have their 10,000 hours in volleyball, so I need to even it up and it's going to take time.

Yeah, that's true. Like 9,999.5 more hours. But, hey, whatever fake reasons to get more people watching volleyball, the better.

Let's promote stuff down on the bayou

2011-08-25T18:17:00.000-07:00

'Twas with baited breath that we clicked on the link to find out the latest in volleyball promotions for LSU.

If you'll recall, last year Fran Flory vowed to stay in a mobile home outside the gym until like 12 people signed up to follow the LSU volleyball twitter account or something. The epic promotion lasted about 26 hours.

So how do they top that this year? Let's take a look.

"Ace T-shirt Toss" - Good, start with the basics, build a foundation.

"Autographs" - Again, good stuff, you always play the greatest hits.

"Geaux Books!" - Oh I like it. A little Ca-jawn twist, cher.

"First 500 fans will receive an LSU Volleyball static cling!" - This is where the first 500 fans get a shirt that's fresh out of the dryer. Oh, wait, no it's some sticker-thing you put on your window, like a fathead or whatever.

"Girl Scouts Day - First 500 fans will receive an LSU Volleyball koozie!" - Are the girl scouts in the Big Easy in dire need of something to keep their juice boxes cold?

As you can see, lots of great stuff, but I don't see anything involving Winnebagos, hunger strikes, our living with tigers. Boo.

Been off the grid?

2011-08-24T20:10:00.000-07:00

Quick refresher in case you've been out of the loop:

Falyn has left Troy. Based on speculation, the anniversary of her departure will soon become a paid day off in Hawaii.

The new Penn State - Nebraska rivalry has already reached DEFCON 3 on the Uncomfortably Awkward Meter.

Mike Sealy is rockin' Ryan Mennealy's haircut circa 1991.

Jen Bonilla became Jen Beltran, triggering a violent reaction from...people on volleytalk who aren't related to Jen or her family in any way.

The Russian occupation of Louisville is over, enabling Ann Kordes to complete Phase 2 of the Kordes Coup. But in the least shocking move since the Wonder Woman pilot was not picked up (I mean, right?), Yelin will now be yodelin' in Youlder, Yolorado.

Hugh became Head Gopher, but not yet, though sometime soon, but for now it's The Laura Bush Show, and there are other assistants, but not all of 'em are staying, blah blah blah.

Speaking of Gophers, Tabi Love upgraded in the animal world by becoming a Bruin. (Bear beats gopher, doesn't it? Bear beats gopher, which beats squid, which beats bear, I believe.)

Like a man crawling through the desert dying of thirst...

2011-08-17T18:51:00.000-07:00

...we've finally reached the oasis that is the 2011 season.

Seriously, we've got to find something to do in the off season besides running every topic on volleytalk into the ground, backing up the car, and running it over again, and again...

So, let's go people! Let's make fun of stuff! You know, stuff!

The Matches

2010-12-20T21:07:00.001-08:00

As for the semifinals... ugh. USC and Texas picked the most unfortunate moment to play poorly, because we all know they're better than what they showed. Ya' think Falyn has ever missed two jump serves so poorly before in her life? OK, maybe when she played for Roxy, but they were probably beating up on some poor team of 5'5" kids at the time.

BUT, kudos to Penn State for playing their best volleyball when they had to. Yes, they had an embarrassingly easy road (Yeah, I said it "committee." Watcha gonna do about it? Probably give Stanford that route next year.), but they were flat-out better than Texas and Cal when it mattered.

And they did it with a 5'6" freshman setter who's not really a setter, and without Alisha and Megan.

But they did have Great Scott, Wilson, Slay Bells, Double B, Deja Me? Deja You!, D'Errico, and Cathy "Did I really go to B.C. for a year or just dream it?" Quilico. Oh and they have that guy Russ, who ain't too shabby.

So, you can have your UConn women's basketball streak. Really isn't that big a deal compared to what we've got goin' on over here.

Interesting moments: Loved the interviews with Misty and Kerri. But... how is it that they were both at the Final Four, but Walsh has to use her interview with Microphone Guy to get ahold of her? Should we be concerned? Because after Scarlett and Ryan, America can't handle another high-profile breakup.

The Good: Brought back Microphone Guy from last year, and the All-American videos between games two and three were good stuff.

The Bad: No balloons? One year it all goes horribly wrong, and you just ditch the idea? I believe the Ballon Makers Union of America doth protest. And the P.A. guy was too professional. Can't we jazz that up a bit?

The Convention, in all it's glory

2010-12-20T21:07:00.000-08:00

The weekend overall:
Standing in line for barbecue for nearly an hour is TOTALLY worth it.

The Coach of the Year banquet is in severe need of a makeover. It's painfully long, and what, was, that, food? I've seen more tender meat on a catcher's mitt.

Carl McGown has worked with a lot of big names in volleyball. In case you didn't hear me the first time, let me just repeat that Carl McGown has worked with a lot of big names in volleyball. Did I mention that Carl McGown has worked with a lot of big names in volleyball? (Yeah it wasn't that much fun in person, either)

How can anyone not love Shoji?

If Sports Imports can make it to the volleyball hall of fame, can Spike Nashbar be far behind?

IPFW's Steve Florio wins "Most Entertaining Presentation at the Convention." Winnebago enthusiast Fran Flory wins "Most Ingenious Use of Elastic Tied between Antennas." Ann Kordes wins the "What Kind of Batteries Does She Run On and Where Can I Get Some" award.

All-American Banquet:
So, no "Cecile and Sagula" this year, but Kordes added a sassy Kelly Ripa vibe. (No, I'm not saying Joe is Regis, or that Cecile is Kathie Lee. I don't even know if Cecile has a son named Cody.)

Loved Barnett's Q&A, didn't care for the lounge-esque chair setting. How many 6-foot-plus girls in mini-skirts do you want to force to sit down and stand up in front of a room full of people? It's like the most complicated yoga move ever.

Plus bonus points for asking Delano if THE ball was really in or out. I think he should finish each Q&A with a Craig Kilborn-type oddball question, though. For instance, Alex Jupiter? "Are you related to Bruno Mars?" Carli Lloyd: "When you buy your first car, will you feel obligated to get one with turbo?" Victoria Henson: "Do you personally know Cookie Monster?"

Carli Lloyd, the internet's least-favorite POY ever (honestly, I think Klineman will survive somehow, so get over it), had the world's most genuine reaction ever.

Best line at the banquet: "Rude." - Cassidy Lichtman.

OK, quit fooling around. Where's the real logo?

2010-12-13T19:35:00.000-08:00

Bahahahaha! Really? A conference with more money than anyone knows what to do with, a world of resources at their fingertips, and THIS is the logo they come up with?

There's nothing to it. The number 10 cleverly tucked away, OK, but no nod to the fact that there are 12 teams in the actual conference. Dull. Uninspired. Awful.

(And I think our ideas were better.)

And the division names? "Leaders" and "Legends"? COME ON. How pretentious is that? Why not just go with "We take ourselves" for one and "Too seriously" for the other.

Besides that, the names are a perpetual set up for the inevitable jokes as soon as some idiot football player or basketball player is arrested.

"Yeah, he was a leader alright; a leader in the blood alcohol content division! HA!"

"Legend? Yes, I remember the legend of the disappearing store merchandise."

And on and on and on. I suppose just going with East and West was too obvious a choice? OK, with Wisconsin in the "East," maybe they didn't like that. How about a nod to actual legends of the Big Ten? Wooden and Schembechler divisions? Where's the imagination!?

Terrible.

Honestly, not much else could have happened this weekend

2010-12-12T18:58:00.002-08:00

WOW! All this and Mike Hebert retires?

I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE.

I'm a wreck. Who's got a cigarette.

The only way this weekend could've been more intriguing is if there was a power outage at one of the regional sites, and when the power came back on, they discovered that one of the liberos had been kidnapped by Freemasons.

Nebraska and Washington - People, people, people! [insert Rodney King cliche]? Another classic chapter in this lovefest, but with a confrontational twist at the end. Nobody's ever claimed Cook was a man of the people, but McLaughlin went all Red Ross in reaction to whatever it was that Cook said.

Cinderella, of the West Lafayette Cinderellas - Purdue's tournament run was the stuff of legend, honestly. You lose one player with an ACL. Then the next weekend you beat Florida, the #1 seed. Then you jump all over Texas on their home court, only to see your setter pop her hamstring... your setter who's dad passed away earlier that day. HONESTLY. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough magic left in the pumpkin to overcome all of that (and what pumpkin could?), and a thunderous Texas crowd powered the Longhorns to the Final Four. Sidebar: Can bagging on Jerritt's coaching ability stop being a meme now? I think the guy's earned his stripes.

Classic PAC 10 elimination round - Too much gravitational pull by Jupiter, too much Falyn the Destroyer. And how does Klineman not get a swing in the last three points?

Post-game three huddle must have been AWESOME - Duke beats Penn State! At Penn State! Well, at least, in game 3 they did, after which the Nittany Lions blew through game 4 to punch their already-punched ticket to the Final Four (that's a punch redundancy). Committee members, you should be expecting flowers from Happy Valley aaaany day now. And for what it's worth, a post-match fracas between Russ and Jolene would've been soooo much more entertaining.

That Rich Feller's got somethin' goin' on - Cal looks great. That's all.

The ball went back and to the left. BACK... and to the left.

2010-12-12T18:58:00.001-08:00

Honestly, have a few seconds of volleyball ever been so closely dissected before? We really needed someone from the Zapruder family in the stands to give us a real feel for what happened.

Here are just a few things debated in regards to Perry's swing in the fourth game of Nebraska / Washington:

Ball was in
Ball was out
Ball skidded, making it appear out
Replay on Seattle news station clearly shows it in
Replay was edited by Seattle news station to make it appear to be in
Bottom of ball was flat when it was over the line, thus touching the floor, thus in
Shadow of the ball was too large to be on the floor when above the line
The line judge high-fived a UW usher, proving he was in cahoots with the Huskies
A shadowy cabal of Level 8 Gold Medal Squared Protectorates have infiltrated our volleyball system to make sure that the Huskies are protected at all costs, including through the use of poison darts and mind control. They manipulated the Sport Court to extend the back line, ensuring the ball was in.

Ain't TV coverage grand?

Totally Unfair Picture Captions with those two knuckleheads, John and Jim

2010-12-12T18:58:00.000-08:00

"Is that your hand, touching my arm?"

"What're you going to do about it?"

"I'll tell you what I'm going to do about it. After this match, I'm gonna say something in a heated moment that you will totally not care for!"

"You do, and I'm gonna point my finger at you while yelling! People will have to hold me back!"

"Do it!"

"I will!"

"Good!"

"Great!"

"Great?"

Totally Unfair Picture Captions with John and Jim, Part 2

2010-12-12T18:57:00.000-08:00

"Duck season!"

"Rabbit season!"

"Duck season!"

"Rabbit season!"

"Rabbit season!"

"Duck season!"

BLAM.

A dotyoureye experiment: dotyoureyetv

2010-12-09T20:29:00.000-08:00

Your annual look at regional press conference quotes!

2010-12-09T20:28:00.000-08:00

"We're extremely excited to be in the sweet 16 again for our fifth [straight] season." - Jerritt Elliott

"We're really happy to be here and very excited to be here." - Jolene Nagel

"We're very excited about the opportunity to play in the Sweet Sixteen here at Penn State." - Santiago Restrepo

"On behalf of the team, the administration, and the coaching staff, we are just thrilled to be in Austin at the regional tournament." - Kevin Hambly

"Personally, I love the city of Austin." - Dave Shondell

"I don't think you could find a team in the field that is more thrilled to be here than the Gators after our 'brush with tournament death' last Saturday." - Mary Wise

"It is great to be at home." - Russ Rose

Totally Unfair Picture Captions with Craig Skinner and child

2010-12-06T20:54:00.000-08:00

"Daddy? Can we have mac and cheese for dinner?"

"Sure."

"And why didn't you set the second tempo more in rotation three when their blockers were clearly committing to the 31?"

"That's it; no more late night film sessions."

Tournament quotes are the bestest quotes of all.

2010-12-06T20:48:00.000-08:00

"We thought we'd be able to catch Texas asleep tonight and pounce like an ambushed predator. " - Mike Sealy. Well, right, except... how do you pounce like an ambushed predator? Is this one of those crouching tiger / hidden dragon things?

"Members of the Orange Curtain, which consisted of members of the CSUF men’s volleyball club, parents, and former Titan volleyball team members made the seven-hour trip to Stanford." - from the Daily Titan. The Orange Curtain may be a decent cheer section, but they can't top Washington's cheer section, The Purple Drapes.

"I'm pretty pleased and excited to go to Dayton for the regional." - Mick Haley. That just sounds... weird.

"So I think I do rely pretty heavily on Blair, which I don't think is a bad thing because, as you see from her stats and her season and her career, she's kind of a big deal." - PSU's Kristin Carpenter on teammate Blair Burgundy.

"I loved coaching this team and I'm sorry that the season had to come to an end." - Kentucky's Craig Skinner voicing a sentiment expressed by many coaches in the tournament. Once, just once, you know you'd like to see a coach say, "The season's over, and... THANK GOD. I hate this team, I can't stand these people, I wanna go home. Suck it."

"There's something nice about being on the road after we finish finals. It's kind of like we get to hang out like it was preseason again. We get to hang out and be together, do arts and crafts." - Cassidy Lichtman, looking forward to a week of... finger painting and decoupage, apparently.

"As my good friend Steve [Spurrier] would say, 'Maybe the gods were smiling on the Gators.'" - Mary Wise, head Gator and shameless name-dropper.

“I’m happy that we won, but I'm also educated in the national championship pursuits and this wasn't a great, clean effort out there.” - Russ Rose on the Niagara win. How does one become educated in the national championship pursuits? Is that post-grad or...?

"Junior Aleksandra Gerogieva set a new career high with four assists." - from the Notes section of the Cal / North Carolina match. You tell me.

"In your mind, you think that when you win this sub-regional and you're going to the Sweet 16, it's going to be a festive deal and you're going to feel like you're going to want to go out and enjoy a cold beverage or something; but already you are starting to worry about who you are going to play and thinking about all the things you got to do. I will still probably get a cold beverage, but I think you don't have a lot a time as a coaching staff to do those things." - Dave Shondell, showing excellent syntax in the use of the unique phrase "cold beverage."

Now THAT was fun! (Opinions may vary, check your local listings)

2010-12-05T20:41:00.000-08:00

Thanks, boss. - Former Rob Patrick assistant Sheri Dunbar and her Hoosiers defeat Rob's Vols in five crazy games to advance to the Sweet 16 for the first time ever. EVER. EV-AH. Jordan Haverly -- formerly of the firm Cook, Sullivan & Stemke -- went completely outer limits with 30 kills and hitting .333.

Well that was... something - Weird end for Wahine as they get walloped by Washington. I didn't know it was possible for a Hawaii team to have a bad passing match.

Barnburner, Pt. 1 - Dayton and Ohio State burned the barn to the ground in their epic five-game win for the Buckeyes. Has Katie Dull always been that good? Yikes.

Barnburner nobody was watching - Duke and Ohio. Bobcats had 26 BLOCKS! They also hit 30 points better, and still lost in 5.

Someone's an All-American - Tulsa's Tyler Henderson: 24 kills in a 5-game loss to the Sooner Nation, 26 kills and hit .435 in three-game sweep of LSU, to go on top of gaudy regular season numbers. Any questions?

Representin' the Patriot League, yo - Barry Goldberg and the Americans done ya' proud as they almost had the biggest upset in eons, eventually losing to UCLA in five.

Bright side? - If there is one to UNI's loss to Missouri, it's that RPI haters will be using this as Exhibit #1 for the upcoming landmark legal battle, "The People v. RPI." That's something, right?

AZ v. NW didn't create a black hole? - I really thought this match would be like creating a volleyball version of the Large Hadron Collider in Northern Iowa's gym: Two volleyball protons crashing into each other at a high rate of speed, dark matter flying all over the place, impromptu worm holes appearing out of nowhere, cats and dogs living together. Sadly, all that happened was Northwestern winning. Stupid science, never does anything fun.

Meanwhile, in Dullsville - Penn State, Cal, Illinois, Stanford, Nebraska, roll alongzzz... Zzzz...