The NYT? Again!?

Someone at the Gray Lady loves us. For the second time in less than a year, there's an article about a college volleyball figure! Last time it was lovable softie Russ Rose. This time, it's Lauren Cookie and her Husker homecoming.

"Lauren Cook is no prodigal daughter groveling for a second chance."

Odd opening gambit. I don't think anyone said she was groveling, did they?

"Now Cook, a self-described Nebraska girl..."

Well, in her defense, she IS a girl... from Nebraska. Has the NYT always been this -- what's the word -- 'obvious'?

The article then goes on to cover the well-worn ground about why Lauren went to UCLA in the first place, making her own path, and so on, including the whole "event management" thing. Which again, if you can't break in to the event management industry in a town that has literally oodles of events every day of the year...

But I digress.

"Cook also kept comparing U.C.L.A. with Nebraska, where 135 straight matches have sold out at the 4,030-seat Coliseum and the players are idolized by youngsters statewide."

Touché. UCLA couldn't get 4,000+ to a match in Westwood if they were throwing free botox out to the crowd during timeouts.

But the best quotes come from Sydney Anderson. You remember Sydney, right? Transferred from Utah to Nebraska? I'm sure, if anyone understands Cook's plight it's Sydney, right? She immediately understood the situation?

"'My first response was kind of confused.'"

Reeeallly. Yanz and Griffin feel your pain. But not actually.

"Yeah, I was upset and maybe a little sad. Part of my role would be taken away.'"

Oh, irony. You're the best.

But it seems all has turned out well, if by "well" we mean losing to Florida in an unforeseen home court stumble, trip, and splat. Let's let Lauren have the last word.

"'I've been around Nebraska for the last eight-plus years and realize how special it is. It's hard to walk away from.'"

True. Look what happened to the Donner party.

"'I did that.'"

Yeah, but you were on a plane, the Donners were in, like, wagons and stuff.

"'And then I realized I've got to go back there. That's where I belong.'"

Oh my God. Do you know what this means? Lincoln, Neb., is the island from LOST! Of course! It's so obvious now! This changes the WHOLE show! That means Pettit was Jacob, Pavan was, who, Claire? Or is Osborne actually Jacob? I just lost my mind.

It's here! It's here! The new season's here!

FINALLY we don't have to read stupid posts on VolleyTalk like "I think I saw Kelly Murphy at Target today." It's the new season!

And with every new season, there are surprises and junk, then we write something snarky... I'm sure you remember how this works.

Maybe playing in Omaha isn't that big a deal - So, the Gators lose Ward, lose Cheronis, LOSE KO?! And then? THEN they beat Nebraska in Omaha? Is it time to pull out that 6'5" 6-2 Cookie was talking about?

HOLY TOLEDO! (C'mon... how often do you get to actually say that.) - The Greg Smith Rockets beat their neighbors to the north, Meeechigan, in five! I have a question: Whuck? Don't look now, but the MAC might have a new sheriff in t--

GREAT KALAMAZOO! - Don't mean to put a hitch in Toledo's giddy-up, but Michigan University of the Western might have something to say about it, too. They plunked Arizona State in four. Yay Gold Medal Squared...?

Speaking of Arizona Schools Losing... - The RubioCats, in five, to Molly Pon and the Poly Gang. Silver lining? AZ still beat ND.

Texas A&M Aggies? Agh. - So... what was that?

How 'bout that PAC-10? You didn't hear it from me, but I heard that the PAC-10 is looking to trade Oregon State to another conference for another team.... any other team. Bazinga.

The Battle for the Land of Osmonds - (Does anyone get an Osmonds reference anymore?) Utah State gets its first win in the SLC in 20 YEARS! That is a little bit country and a little bit rock n' roll. Anyone?

I! P! F! W! - The prehistoric elephants of Indiana - Purdue at Fort Wayne beat St. Louis, striking a blow for acronyms everywhere.

Buffs get Nagel-ized - Sure, Colorado lost to Duke in five games, but to be fair, they're still trying to remember each other's names.

Adventures in Promotions!

Hey, look! LSU's Fran Flory is living in an RV and refuses to move out until the LSU volleyball Twitter page gets 750 followers!

What?

Living in an RV? Is that supposed to seem difficult? Wait, maybe they mean one of those campers that you perch on top of a pickup truck, right?

You have got to be kidding me.

My grandparents lived in an RV like that for 15 years 20 years before Twitter was ever even invented. You know, usually with these types of promotions, people choose to live somewhere that might be perceived as uncomfortable, like on a billboard, or in a tree, or Cleveland, but not in a vehicle that's actually designed for extended habitation.

Now, if Flory were living in, say, an AMC Pacer until she gets 750 followers? With assistant coach Steve Loeswick? Then you'd have something. Otherwise, Bear Grylls is not impressed.

But, 750 followers, that's a fairly lofty goal, right? She's been in that hellhole of an RV for about a day and a half now, how many followers do they have so far? 100? 250?

Huh.

Mission accomplished?

Gee, that was a whole 36 hours of hell for Flory. Impressive. But I can't help but feel a little let down. I wanted updates that said things like, "Day 5 - Things are looking bleak. Ate my last mallomar this morning. The days are just blending together. When will it end?"

So it appears the whole thing is over. Pack it up, back to civilizatio--

Hold the phone, people! Flory's craaaazy. So crazy she's going to stay ONE MORE NIGHT to see if they reach 1,000 followers in, as we said, a vehicle designed for extended habitation.

SOMEBODY STOP HER!

You know what I think is going on here? I think the Flory's were having their floors sanded. They were having their floors done, and Flory's got terrible allergies to sawdust, and she needed an excuse to get out of the house for a couple of days. That's what I think.

"How can I leave my house, get paid for it, AND promote LSU volleyball? Get me those eggheads in the promotions department, STAT."